The Dark Man's Plea

The Dark Man's Plea

By: Ethan West

Panted on in beauty's chill

My heart in steep decline

Broken on each battered thrill

My spirit never mine

The heart of heart and spirit hate

What manner man I be

What mannered thing that I create

While rusted soul does sing

And in this conflict I'll confess

My broken body is a mess

And in my own forthcoming way

I am the devil, here to stay

I broke the pact of poison made

And tears of ink now stain my face

The grave mistake that I have gave

In this dreadful, dreary place

Evermore I am to drown

No substance of this man I be

If you find substance in this shroud

Please never be a man like me

Author's Note

A very reflective work I hope you enjoy it!

Reviews

[David the writer]

Interesting. I love how the posion is never specified, so the human mind naturally imagines the posion to be something it can relate with. And the reflection on yourself is also relatable to others for we all make mistakes. Everyone always feel evil too because they've made so many mistakes, sometimes they don't get over said mistake. But great job with this!

[astronaut]

Somehow this reminds me of "Macbeth" by Shakespear, or maybe I'm just weird like that haha. I think the persona feels a lot of regret for what they've done and guilt and shame over something in the past? If I'm right, haha. You have a distinct voice when you write and I will give you more feedback today. Keep writing and I'm sure you will go far. Also I like your metaphors and such, it adds to the sorrow of the poem. Unique and well written. Good job! :)

[ewest1220]

Thanks! I'm thrilled that you enjoyed it!

[kublakhan27]

Nice imagery and rhymes^^

[ewest1220]

Thanks!

[kublakhan27]

No problem :)

[J. F. Charleston]

Dark I can tell. Very well written and I like how you had set this up.

[ewest1220]

Thanks! Glad you liked it!

[Cosmic kid]

Very emotional, I love the flow and everything haha

[ewest1220]

Sweet! Thanks again and I'm glad you enjoyed it!

[Crifa]

Brilliant. Truly amazing. You actually rhyme. I never see people on this site rhyme. I see more reviews on things that's are worse than your authors note than this and that is an issue because this is an amazing poem. You sewed meaning through every rhyme and line in this piece bringing your thoughts to life on my computer screen. Much props given to you my friend please keep it up

[ewest1220]

You know I notice that a little bit as well. I can't make it click unless it rhymes. I'm absolutely thrilled that you enjoyed my work thank you so much for reading!

[Irvette Dauphine]

you trying to make rhyme?
btw, i like this poem.. :)

[ewest1220]

lol thanks! Glad you liked it!

[T. Logan]

I love the line 'i broke the pact of poison made'. Don't know why, i just think it's really unusual, and i'm all for unusual. Another good one!

[ewest1220]

lol I may be a little unusual myself but I'm pleading the 5th on that one. Thank you so much for reading! I'm really glad you liked it!

[Tattered Teddy]

Bloody brilliant mate. I think I really do relate to this in so many ways, tis almost scary at admit. I have felt exactly like this, especially the last 3 stanzas, so many times in my life. Your style is awesome as well.

[ewest1220]

Another great review from you my friend! Thank you so much for reading and I'm thrilled you like my work!

[TheJordBaker]

amazing. I always enjoy your work but this one really stands out for me. the flow of this poem is just fantastic. the first stanza is awesome. top drawer!!

[ewest1220]

Wow thanks again for the review! I'm really thankful that you enjoy my work thanks for reading!

[Rox Bain ☮]

"Evermore I am to drown
No substance of this man I be
If you find substance in this shroud
Please never be a man like me"

Wow... this verse is so beautiful! I absoloutly love the rhyming scheme and your word choice...
This has got to be one of the most amazing pieces I've read on Writers Cafe, well done!

[ewest1220]

Wow I'm really glad you enjoyed this piece. The last stanza is actually my favorite as well so I'm thrilled you enjoyed it! Thank you so much for your review and thanks for reading!