The Two Lovers

The Two Lovers

By: Ethan West

This is the ballad

When all is not well

When a line must be drawn

Between heaven and hell

It started with something

Something peaceful, and strange

The bright gates of gold

And heaven's great range

But where was my love

Who I'd left behind?

Was she still down below

In an earth so unkind?

I walked to the gate

My mind lost in thought

As the angel approached

I knew what I sought

That if heaven was mine

Then was heaven wrong?

I was nothing compared

To my love and her song

An angel then asked

"Do you wish to come in?

To forget all your worries

In forgiven sin?"

I then asked the angel

"Where is my love?"

He pointed his hand

With the grace of a dove

The clouds had now parted

I could see within

I saw her on fire

I saw her in sin

I then asked the angel

"Why is she here?

She is better than I

Is that not plainly clear?"

The angel then asked

"Then why are you here?

She's been judged to be damned

And the reason is clear."

I thought in cold silence

And angel then asked

"Would you like to come in?

Your sorrow wont last"

I opened my mouth

Than closed it again

The angel looked puzzled

By what he heard then

I asked him and pleaded

To trade with her place

I begged on my knees

For God's loving grace

And the angel then said

"Are you sure you want this?

To take on her sins

So she may have bliss?"

I paused, and then nodded

With a deep breath I fell

Without scream, without shout

To the bowels of hell

But when I had landed

In the fire, my fee

I looked to my side

At my love next to me

"Why are you here?

I yelled o'er the mass

Of souls of the damned

From present and past

Had I been fooled by an angel

My eyes brought to tear

Until then she told  me

"I would rather be here.

My heaven was hell

Without you by my side

Do you feel the same?

Or is it just I?"

I stared at her smile

As she stared in my eyes

And I shouted I love you

Over the screaming and cries

She smiled back at me

But tears filled her face

They were all tears of pain

In this terrible place

But then her eyes opened

And she opened mine

In a bed of white cloud

With no passing of time

And at the great gate

Of heaven we asked

"Are we then forgiven

For all of our past?"

And the lord came to us

And his smile was wide

He said come to me now

And be by my side

And while I never will know

What happened before

With her by my side

I could want nothing more

Author's Note

The one and only ballad I've ever written. Would love feedback on it if you guys have time.

Reviews

[Lizbeth]

Wow, this is just an amazing and beautiful pieace of poetry, so moving and with some powerful imagery.
It would be nice to know that if one lands in hell, there might be a chance to escape :)
Was relieved there was a happy end ... !
Thanks for sharing.
Lizbeth

[ewest1220]

Wow thanks! I'm really glad you enjoyed my work and thank you so much for reading!

[TheJordBaker]

incredible, a great image of what true love is, and exquisitely written. a great idea and write.

[ewest1220]

Thanks! I'm glad you liked it!

[Yellow Butterfly]

Amazing amazing amazing.....

This was truly a sacrifice of all sacrifices...... with a beautiful ending
Please don't change a thing this has been written straight from your
heart.

This gave me goose bumps..... absolutely loved it.... in my favourites.. :o)

[ewest1220]

Wow! I'm absolutely thrilled you liked this piece! Thank you so much again for reading!

[MOON]

Lovely flow, story too like Greek tragedy with happy ending.

[ewest1220]

Thanks1

[T. Logan]

This is awesome. It could almost be a story, but i think it's perfect like this.

[ewest1220]

Thanks! I'm thrilled you liked it!

[Coyote Poetry]

True love can conquer anything. I enjoyed the complete story. I like the discussion and his decision. The ending made the poem perfect. Thank you for sharing the outstanding poem.
Coyote

[ewest1220]

Thank you for reading it! I'm really glad you enjoyed this piece!

[F.P. Chat]

I can't believe I just shuddered...I love it.
I could even hear Johnny Borrell (Razorlight) singing it...
Really perfect work...

Oh and btw you should read some Greek mytholodgy, I think you would like it a lot...

[ewest1220]

I've read a little, it's much more interesting than the whole heaven hell thing but it's so convoluted and disputed it's a touch one to write about. Anyways I'm thrilled again that you enjoyed my work thank you so much for reading!

[Crimson Bayonet]

Oh my gourd! This is amazing! Brilliant! I-I don't know what to say!! :D

[ewest1220]

lol thank you so much! It's always a pleasure and I love that you enjoyed my work!

[Rhea752]

This is a great Epic. the romance is quite sweet. nicely done. :)

[ewest1220]

Thanks! Glad you liked it!

[Tommy]

I often wonder what heaven would be, without most of my loved ones including me; time will tell the tale, but I live for the bits of bliss found in the tragedy which surrounds. Life is a reason and the reason is to live without judgment because we are all full of sin. My grudge is with me, so I hope He forgives the past which has brought me to presently be...

The flow in this piece is awesome, and the message of heaven without the loved ones we know, who make us what and who we are? I don’t think I could do it either…

Great Write Ethan!!!
RLG,
Tommy

[ewest1220]

Wow thank you for the really insightful review! I'm really thrilled that you enjoyed my work!

[Serenity Faith]

This actually brought tears of happiness to me. Unbelievably beautiful and heartfelt. I couldn't imagine entering Heaven without the one I love. Very very VERY nicely done.

[ewest1220]

Lol you made me blush! I'm really really grateful that you like my work thank you so much!

[Serenity Faith]

you're most welcome ^_^ You deserve the praise