The Two Lovers

The Two Lovers

By: Ethan West

This is the ballad

When all is not well

When a line must be drawn

Between heaven and hell

It started with something

Something peaceful, and strange

The bright gates of gold

And heaven's great range

But where was my love

Who I'd left behind?

Was she still down below

In an earth so unkind?

I walked to the gate

My mind lost in thought

As the angel approached

I knew what I sought

That if heaven was mine

Then was heaven wrong?

I was nothing compared

To my love and her song

An angel then asked

"Do you wish to come in?

To forget all your worries

In forgiven sin?"

I then asked the angel

"Where is my love?"

He pointed his hand

With the grace of a dove

The clouds had now parted

I could see within

I saw her on fire

I saw her in sin

I then asked the angel

"Why is she here?

She is better than I

Is that not plainly clear?"

The angel then asked

"Then why are you here?

She's been judged to be damned

And the reason is clear."

I thought in cold silence

And angel then asked

"Would you like to come in?

Your sorrow wont last"

I opened my mouth

Than closed it again

The angel looked puzzled

By what he heard then

I asked him and pleaded

To trade with her place

I begged on my knees

For God's loving grace

And the angel then said

"Are you sure you want this?

To take on her sins

So she may have bliss?"

I paused, and then nodded

With a deep breath I fell

Without scream, without shout

To the bowels of hell

But when I had landed

In the fire, my fee

I looked to my side

At my love next to me

"Why are you here?

I yelled o'er the mass

Of souls of the damned

From present and past

Had I been fooled by an angel

My eyes brought to tear

Until then she told  me

"I would rather be here.

My heaven was hell

Without you by my side

Do you feel the same?

Or is it just I?"

I stared at her smile

As she stared in my eyes

And I shouted I love you

Over the screaming and cries

She smiled back at me

But tears filled her face

They were all tears of pain

In this terrible place

But then her eyes opened

And she opened mine

In a bed of white cloud

With no passing of time

And at the great gate

Of heaven we asked

"Are we then forgiven

For all of our past?"

And the lord came to us

And his smile was wide

He said come to me now

And be by my side

And while I never will know

What happened before

With her by my side

I could want nothing more

Author's Note

The one and only ballad I've ever written. Would love feedback on it if you guys have time.

Reviews

[Lizbeth]

Wow, this is just an amazing and beautiful pieace of poetry, so moving and with some powerful imagery.
It would be nice to know that if one lands in hell, there might be a chance to escape :)
Was relieved there was a happy end ... !
Thanks for sharing.
Lizbeth

[ewest1220]

Wow thanks! I'm really glad you enjoyed my work and thank you so much for reading!

[forevermore1218]

This was really beautiful mate.
The beginning reminded me a little like Romeo and Juliet because of the way the play starts with the chorus laying the scene. The middle got a little confusing so just try and move your words around a little better. The ending was very touching and really got to me.
I love your work so much and hope that people all over the world get to experience its beauty and meaning.

well done mate :D

[ewest1220]

You have officially joined the group of people on this site that made me blush from their reviews lol thank you so much for reading I'm thrilled that you enjoyed my work!

[forevermore1218]

lol no prob :) I'm honored that I'm in the group.
Have a great day mate!

[ewest1220]

You too my friend!

[Rox Bain ☮]

*picks jaw up off ground*
WOW... this is incredible! The smoothness in the verses and the story it tells is just amazing. You should definitely write more ballads, you're so good!!

[ewest1220]

*picks jaw up off ground* Fun fact for ya I had no idea whether or not people would like this because the style was so different from what I usually do. But hey I'm thrilled that you enjoyed this thank you so much for reading!

[Trixolomanea]

I've completely read it out loud. It's compelling and rhythmic, it's a joy to have these words on your lips. Seriously, words cannot describe how much I love this rhythm!
I can only say one thing, bravo! This was truly amazing! I loved it from the first till the last letter and it is going straight to my favorites! I have one little suggestion, correction though... it's a small and futile one, yet I feel like I have to say it, isn't Lord written with a capital L?

I seriously loved it, and I think I'm going to read it over and over again! It's a wonderful piece of art :) Well done!

[ewest1220]

Actually you have a good point there lol changing it now :) Anyways I'm really thrilled that you enjoyed this work and I'm absolutely honored that you feel this way about my work! Thank you so much for reading!

[Trixolomanea]

You're very welcome indeed, you completely deserve it :)

[Justin Flume]

I'm thinking SONG!?! xD
It's really f*****g good E.

[ewest1220]

lol thanks again my friend it's always nice to hear from you!

[Foxemerald]

I certainly doubt that a ballad could be set in any light that shines in a softer, gentler way that this once performs in its perfect placement, which you have created. I had thought, at first, that it was simply a poem of tradition, with an albeit pleasant ring that bespoke that wonderfully lasting story of a child's heart, in its resemblance to the sound and voice of the 'Night Before Christmas,' narration. However, the reader- I am talking of myself obviously- falls into a mesmerizing trance so rapidly, that it is as though you have pulled the shutters over our ability to reason as we savor the magical enchantment in a light, floating sensation of being carried into Heaven, and then down to Hell; so much of a revealing story in an endearing, yet painfully tearful way. It's really good, one that I'd like to save in fact . . . the story has remarkable qualities in such a deviant format for narration of substance, and is more substantial than an actual story might be, due to the music.This is for keeps.

[ewest1220]

I'm not sure what to say lol I'm touched that you feel this way about this piece and I'm thrilled you liked my work. Thank you so much for the very detailed review and thank you for reading!

[That1Nerd23]

This poem is so touching. Extremely well written. To be honest, it brought tears to my eyes. I love it! Excellent job, Ethan!

[ewest1220]

Wow thanks you so much! I'm thrilled my work affected you so thank you so much for reading!

[That1Nerd23]

You're quite welcome! You are very talented!

[Jordan A. Wilson]

whoa...gave me chills. outstanding!

[ewest1220]

Thanks!

[hopelessromantic]

i love it

[ewest1220]

Thanks!

[hopelessromantic]

your welcome

[Tattered Teddy]

Lovely.

[ewest1220]

Thanks!

[afra]

wow ...beautiful ...good job

[ewest1220]

Thanks!