Past Tense

Past Tense

By: Ethan West

Listen now to my bleated plea

Abandon all with little to give

Tarry not and follow me

Follow me for I want to live

To live and to fall

With each step that I take

To be in life's hall

While the spirits awake

To never give in

To blackening rain

Of torturous sin

And tremendous pain

To make my mistakes

And see my heart rising

To see how earth quakes

At my bitter despising

For now I am lost

And lost now within

All of life's cost

Like a knife on my skin

I leap from the blade

For you followed me here

To this place in the shade

To a room I hold dear

And with subtle silence

I leave you this rhyme

To leave in past tense

And become lost to time

Author's Note

Any feedback is greatly appreciated. Thank you!

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

Remind me of a Lenard Cohen song. The words open the door to thoughts. Places and regret lead us to many places. Some good and some bad.
"For now I am lost
And lost now within
All of life's cost
Like a knife on my skin"
I like the way you ended the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[ewest1220]

Wow thanks! I always highly value your input Coyote! Thanks again for reading I'm thrilled you enjoyed my work!

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

For now I am lost
And lost now within
All of life's cost
Like a knife on my skin

The entire piece was good, but I am particularly struck by this stanza. I can feel the loss and the angst here. "All of life's cost/like a knife on my skin"--very powerful lines. I feel as though I've been here before; you've brought out something inside of me that truly almost brings me to tears. Funny how certain pieces evoke certain emotions in certain people. Well done.

[Valentine]

Wow, for a young person..this has thought and edepth..keep them coming..Valentine

[ewest1220]

Will do :) I'm thrilled you enjoyed this thank you so much for reading!

[ewest1220]

Powerful words...I'm astonished

[ewest1220]

Thanks! I'm glad you liked it!

[ewest1220]

The description mirrored in this poem leaves me eager for more. The climax happened at the near end...and thus this proves the proper ability u have with words. I'm drawn in with as with every line, I draw closer and closer to the outcomes. An underlying hint of the climax make the brain launch into suspense mode. I'm captivated by all: No grammar errors found. No punctuation errors and definitely no misleading ideas emphasized...for that I thank u for the poetical justice u've done. I know this is long but I wanted to let u know...

[ewest1220]

I have no problem with comment length my friend thank you so much for reading and I'm thrilled you liked my work!

It only a pleasure, I'll keep eager eyes on all your writing.

[Erika Jones]

This was a really sad poem :c But I loved it all the same! :)

[ewest1220]

Thanks :) I'm glad you liked it!

[A love for poetry]

wow! It's great. One day i hope to write this well!

[ewest1220]

Wow thanks! I'm really glad you liked it!

[Brandon Mathis]

My fav part
To never give in
To blackening rain
Of torturous sin
And tremendous pain, love all of it though!!

[ewest1220]

Thanks Brandon glad you liked it!

[Brandon Mathis]

Sorry it took so long to review it been busy trying new styles of writing check out my new ones and tell me what you think of em.

[ewest1220]

Hey no problem my friend. I've been a little buried in read requests so I blocked them for a week or so (I'm talking 200 in 4 days XP) but I'll have it back up and running soon!

[Brandon Mathis]

It's cool no rush man just wanted your opinion on how they are

[ewest1220]

Absolutely my friend I'd love to read them!

[Brandon Mathis]

Anytime you can!!

[Priscilla Sayers]

To be lost in time.... A very powerful phrase used brilliantly here as you clever place it, leaving the past behind... Always moving forward yet, sometimes we need to look back upon what life experiences have made us come to be who we are today. Nicely done.

[ewest1220]

Very true, very true. I'm glad you liked it thank you so much for reading!

[forevermore1218]

cool mate. very cool.
I liked particularly the imagery with the knife and the last stanza.

well done once again :)

[ewest1220]

Thanks! I'm glad you liked it!