Doubt

Doubt

By: Ethan West

I say here on this bed tonight

Frozen with a painted fear

That all the beauty of my fight

For life itself that's never near

For wherein my sight my eyes see not

This broken field of grass so still

Where in it's wind blows distant thought

Of my broken battered will

Thoughts of fury and of hate

Of love and beauty incarnate

Thoughts of family and of friends

Crying out to make amends

But in this field I draw a blank

Lonely tears to nourish fate

All these thoughts lay in my wake

My broken spirit lies in wait

For once this man was better found

The battered broken grass did plea

I held my head, and stood my ground

And the field of doubt buried me

Author's Note

Any feedback would be greatly appreciated.

Reviews

[Timeless-Chan]

Do you have any of your work punished? like the poems on here a least? Cause you write all this and all i can think is 1- that im insanily jealous of you because you seem to write so easily and 2- that if it isn't published it should be. I mean what the heck! stop being so good at this lmao!

[ewest1220]

Actually yes I am published here's the link

http://www.amazon.com/A-Winter-Walk-ebook/dp/B008HHYP72/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1341977911&sr=1-1&keywords=ethan+west

But either way I'm really flattered that you feel this way about my work and I'm thrilled that you read it :) Thank you so much for reading!

[Kris]

Well done! However, I think you meant 'stay' instead of 'say' and 2nd stanza, 3rd line, you used 'it's: it is' instead of the possessive 'its'.

Again, well done. I enjoyed reading this.

[ewest1220]

Whoops! Thanks for the pointer :)

[emilythestrange]

Wonderfully heartbreaking and heartbreakingly wonderful

[ewest1220]

Thanks! I'm really glad you enjoyed it!

[forevermore1218]

Particularly in the verse "Thoughts of fury and hate, Of love and beauty incarnate. All these thoughts lay in my wake, My broken spirit lies in wait", I thought that you brought this dark and beautiful image into the reader's mind. I really enjoyed your stanzas and not only thought, but knew, that this poem was really impressive and heart touching. It gives a very depressing aura, yet still picked up my mood at the same time. Your deep connections were perfect and the imagery was immaculate.

Great Job mate!

[ewest1220]

Wow! Thank you so much for the incredible review! Thank you so much for reading and I'm thrilled that you enjoyed my work! Thanks again!

[Justin Flume]

"For wherein my sight my eyes see not
This broken field of grass so still
Where in it's wind blows distant thought
Of my broken battered will"

One of your best stanzaz in my oppinion.
Really loving your s**t E.

[ewest1220]

Thanks man it's always a pleasure to hear from ya!

[Dean]

I like the content, the form and the effectiveness of the rhyme. I do think the alternation of tenses does make it a bit to follow, however. Easily fixed, I should think.

[ewest1220]

Interesting. I'll play around with it and see what I can do. Thanks for reading though I'm glad you enjoyed it!

[J. F. Charleston]

Oh my gosh! How do you think of this stuff? I wish my writing could be this good.
I love this!

[ewest1220]

Hey now I like your writing! lol Hey I'm thrilled that you enjoyed my work thank you so much again for reading! It's always a pleasure to hear from ya!

[Ama May Cooper]

Fluent. A sombre feeling to this piece.
A sense of death looms over.
You have a sensitive touch, weaving words like a true linguist.

[ewest1220]

I'm really thrilled you feel this way about my work! Thank you so much for reading!

[Cosmic kid]

Very emotional and strong, it kind of makes me sad but good job :)

[ewest1220]

Thanks! I'm glad you liked it!