Broken Rain

Broken Rain 

By: Ethan West

I am not like you

A battered bridge for others use

I am not like me

The man who fell down on his knees

A broken heart tied up with thread

Left scars of silence in it's tread

And even now my thought does cease

As tired mind attempts to ease

My sorrows right here ending my pain

Like a rusted rain jacket to fend off the rain

But rust as rust will, will crumble and fall

And drenched in my tears I'll desperately crawl

Away from the blood that broken heart leaks

Away from the pain that broken mind seeks

My pain has a way of being around

To beat me to death as I fall to the ground

The rain and the blood from broken heart patched

Like nothing I've seen, my spirit has crashed

It leaves me like this, away from my health

What was in my heart is now in my self

I lifted my head and she was above

Her face bore the grace of a beautiful dove

She beat me to death on that beautiful plain

My tears and my blood serenading the rain

My tears and my blood will fill me again

My tears and my blood will fill me again

Author's Note

Any feedback is greatly appriciated

Reviews

[Timeless-Chan]

wow i'm awestruck by the pure emotion and expression that this piece holds. the battle that the narrator goes through is just pure sorrow and pain. and the last lines just seem to pull the piece together perfectly. I love the line "My tears and my blood serenading the rain" it's both beautiful and heartbreaking.
Bravo:)

[ewest1220]

Thanks! I'm thrilled you like it!

[Yellow Butterfly]

You write this piece with great depth and feeling enabling the reader to feel every raw emotion splashing down the page.

"What was in my heart is now in myself" - ewest 1220

This line alone is very profound and really stood out for me. The pain from any broken relationships cuts like a knife and the words you write is testimony that where there's pain there's hope.

Written with great rhyme and meter and visuals - and very well penned :O)

[ewest1220]

Once again you give fantastic input my friend. I'm really thrilled that you enjoyed this piece and I thank you once again for reading! It's always a pleasure!

[Xerclipse]

It rhymes perfectly. This was a well done poem. This poem isn't necessarily uplifting but it is heartbreaking ;)

[ewest1220]

Very much so lol I'm glad you liked it! Thanks for reading!

[FJ Davis]

Through almost fervent lyrics and with powerfully apt imagery, your artist's emotion is starkly portrayed.
An excellent offering!

[ewest1220]

Wow! I'm thrilled you liked my work! Thanks for reading!

[That1Nerd23]

Wow...outstanding.

[ewest1220]

Thanks!

[That1Nerd23]

You're very welcome!

[Irvette Dauphine]

wow.. amazing!
this poem is full of emotion and expression
i like it!! bravo bravo :)

[ewest1220]

Thanks! I'm glad you liked it!

[Hatchling]

Wow this is amazing!!

[ewest1220]

Thanks!

[Shep]

I seldom review poetry anymore., even though I write it. But not often unless I am featuring a new book or need a spell writen for one of my characters. Or I need something to tie a plot togeather with. So you caught me. Off guard requesting me as a friend.


I find your poem moving, and the words powerful as they make a statement and I did enjoy reading it. But like said I seldom read poetry anymore as a novelest, I write novels and also a series writer.

[ewest1220]

Either way I'm glad you liked it! I'm actually working on a novel myself to tell you the truth.

[Stacey Watts]

Very well written here. I like the words seems the end is almost lyrical like a song. Very emotional and the flow here is beautifully done. Nice work.

[ewest1220]

Wow thank you! I'm glad you liked it!

[A writer's pursuit]

The emotion, the description, the wording, they were all too powerful. Well done indeed

[ewest1220]

Thanks! I'm glad you liked it!