Broken Rain

Broken Rain 

By: Ethan West

I am not like you

A battered bridge for others use

I am not like me

The man who fell down on his knees

A broken heart tied up with thread

Left scars of silence in it's tread

And even now my thought does cease

As tired mind attempts to ease

My sorrows right here ending my pain

Like a rusted rain jacket to fend off the rain

But rust as rust will, will crumble and fall

And drenched in my tears I'll desperately crawl

Away from the blood that broken heart leaks

Away from the pain that broken mind seeks

My pain has a way of being around

To beat me to death as I fall to the ground

The rain and the blood from broken heart patched

Like nothing I've seen, my spirit has crashed

It leaves me like this, away from my health

What was in my heart is now in my self

I lifted my head and she was above

Her face bore the grace of a beautiful dove

She beat me to death on that beautiful plain

My tears and my blood serenading the rain

My tears and my blood will fill me again

My tears and my blood will fill me again

Author's Note

Any feedback is greatly appriciated

Reviews

[Timeless-Chan]

wow i'm awestruck by the pure emotion and expression that this piece holds. the battle that the narrator goes through is just pure sorrow and pain. and the last lines just seem to pull the piece together perfectly. I love the line "My tears and my blood serenading the rain" it's both beautiful and heartbreaking.
Bravo:)

[ewest1220]

Thanks! I'm thrilled you like it!

[Persephone]

I really enjoyed reading this - I could feel your sorrow and the metaphors were very well done :)

[ewest1220]

Thanks! I'm really glad you liked it!

[Matty Bosox]

This is EXTREMELY powerul!!!! Your words are like the big Russian in Rocky 4, and I as the reader or Rocky getting pounded by freakishly powerful punch after puch of words, rhyme, and a stonesour like rythym....If Corey Taylor were to read this he would think to himself where was my mind when this was written...Like "Through Glass" or "Made of Scars" this poem has the same punch and bang of a Stonesour song....Very terrific stuff keep it up..

[ewest1220]

Wow thanks! I'm really glad you liked it my friend!

[Annabelle Lee]

great flow. had a bit of a spooky rythm when read allowed this was fantastic

[ewest1220]

Thanks! I'm glad you liked it!

[Clare the Artist]

this is just beautiful. The title fits its authenticity very well, and i get what your saying completely. The "my tears and blood will fill me again" just one sentence(repeated 2x) is deep with emotion

[ewest1220]

Wow thanks! I'm really glad you liked it!

[sharonlee]

Stunning.

[ewest1220]

Thanks!

[quixotic_rose]

Imagery is spectacular, word use brilliant, absolutely adored this in all ways possible. The interpretations I take from this are all over the place, but the main concept remains the same, interestingly perceptible. mysteriously awesome :) nice job!

[ewest1220]

Wow thank you so much for your kind words! I'm glad you liked it thank you so much for reading!

[quixotic_rose]

you're tremendously welcomed! :)

[.]

I really love the end of this poem. The anaphora you use really puts an impact to the end of your piece. Great job :)

[ewest1220]

Thanks! I'm really glad you liked it!

[Myra]

I can just feel the agony! Wow! Great rhyming pattern as well =]

[ewest1220]

Thanks! I'm really glad you liked it!

[Lost in Wonderland]

Wow! Truly a fantastic poem! Dark, beautiful and well written. I liked the metaphor about the rain jacket, and the whole concept spoke to me and I could relate. So much emition, You really were tugging on my heart strings. For a moment i thought i would let a tear edcape! Wonderfully worded piece! 100/100 :)
God bless

[ewest1220]

Wow! Thank you so much for your kind words! I'm really thrilled you feel this way about my work thank you so much for reading!

[Lost in Wonderland]

No problem:) thank you for the lovely addition to this site

[ewest1220]

I'm flattered you feel that way :) thank you!

[Lost in Wonderland]

You're very welcome:)

[Junert]

It's sad. You potray emotions well.

[ewest1220]

Thanks! I'm glad you liked it!