Broken Rain

Broken Rain 

By: Ethan West

I am not like you

A battered bridge for others use

I am not like me

The man who fell down on his knees

A broken heart tied up with thread

Left scars of silence in it's tread

And even now my thought does cease

As tired mind attempts to ease

My sorrows right here ending my pain

Like a rusted rain jacket to fend off the rain

But rust as rust will, will crumble and fall

And drenched in my tears I'll desperately crawl

Away from the blood that broken heart leaks

Away from the pain that broken mind seeks

My pain has a way of being around

To beat me to death as I fall to the ground

The rain and the blood from broken heart patched

Like nothing I've seen, my spirit has crashed

It leaves me like this, away from my health

What was in my heart is now in my self

I lifted my head and she was above

Her face bore the grace of a beautiful dove

She beat me to death on that beautiful plain

My tears and my blood serenading the rain

My tears and my blood will fill me again

My tears and my blood will fill me again

Author's Note

Any feedback is greatly appriciated

Reviews

[Timeless-Chan]

wow i'm awestruck by the pure emotion and expression that this piece holds. the battle that the narrator goes through is just pure sorrow and pain. and the last lines just seem to pull the piece together perfectly. I love the line "My tears and my blood serenading the rain" it's both beautiful and heartbreaking.
Bravo:)

[ewest1220]

Thanks! I'm thrilled you like it!

[EileenMarie]

Wow I really loved this........ I like the rhyming it helps this flow. I love how the last line repeats to reiterate the point you are getting across. Great write!

[ewest1220]

Thanks! I'm thrilled you liked it!

[EileenMarie]

It was my pleasure!

[The dark story]

"And drenched in my tears I'll desperately crawl
Away from the blood that broken heart leaks
Away from the pain that broken mind seeks
My pain has a way of being around
To beat me to death as I fall to the ground "...i liked these lines most.it is such a great poem.imbued with strong emotions which are just flowing init....great work..and the rhymes in it..it's just appreciable...a very heart touching poem..hats off to you

[ewest1220]

Thanks! I'm glad you liked it. Most people like the last three lines so it's refreshing to know the rest of the poem is good as well ;)

[The dark story]

you are always welcome

[eighwoeifj]

Very emotional and I love the how you repeated the last line. It's like an echo.
I love how you use rhymes in your poetry. A lot of people freestyle and don't use many rhymes, so their poetry doesn't have rhythm. Yours does, and it makes it flow so smoothly.
I liked this a lot.

[ewest1220]

Funny thing I can't get myself to do freestyle for some reason. I either rhyme or write a short story I don't usually find that middle ground. I'm really glad you liked it! Thank you for reading!

[eighwoeifj]

That's not a bad thing. Rhyme is beautiful!

[Kaela]

The rhyme and meter here keep me mesmerized. I always love poetry that has a set meter and follows it through. Well done!

[ewest1220]

Thanks! Glad you liked it!

[∂αʌ<..]

i love the two concluding lines which echo the whole poem.
a sorrowful one ...but an exceptional one.
:)

[ewest1220]

Glad you liked it, and nice to see you online by the way :)

[&part;&alpha;&#652;&#603;&#603;&#1080;&alpha;]

thank you (;

[ewest1220]

A sad but wonderful composed poem, almost a song of your heart. Keep up the good work, I felt the pain, sorrow and frustration, to the things "we can't change" and can nothing more than accept the facts... Well done!

E. L.

[ewest1220]

Thank you! I'm glad to hear that you liked it.

[Brandon Mathis]

wow that was amazing and the title brought to in to it keep it up man!!!

[ewest1220]

Thanks man I'm glad you liked it!

[Brandon Mathis]

i always seem to like dark poems, check out some of mine you'll know what i'm talking about

[Helen Crutchett]

A sad, painful write from the depth of your soul. Absolutely fantastic imagery....penned so beautifully in this tremendously despairing poem. Well done!

[ewest1220]

Thanks! Hey if you have time I'd love to hear what you think of my other works as well. Also if you send me some read requests I'd love to return the favor! Thanks again!

[Helen Crutchett]

You are welcome Ethan. I am just reading your 'ballad' at the moment. Will let you know what I think :)

[ewest1220]

Sweet! Thanks!

[Tai Ryens]

I could hear your sorrow bellow through your strained words. Well done.

[ewest1220]

Thanks! You're reviews always have great input and I enjoy reading them. If you have time send me some more write requests I'd love to read more of your work.

[allie_arrowz]

this is beautiful. i love the last line and its repetition. "my tears and my blood will fill me again"
i just love that. its like you release this pain, but you will be whole again someday.

[ewest1220]

Wow thanks! I'm glad that you like it. Send me a read request if you'd like me to return the favor thanks again!

[allie_arrowz]

okey dokey.