Broken Rain

Broken Rain 

By: Ethan West

I am not like you

A battered bridge for others use

I am not like me

The man who fell down on his knees

A broken heart tied up with thread

Left scars of silence in it's tread

And even now my thought does cease

As tired mind attempts to ease

My sorrows right here ending my pain

Like a rusted rain jacket to fend off the rain

But rust as rust will, will crumble and fall

And drenched in my tears I'll desperately crawl

Away from the blood that broken heart leaks

Away from the pain that broken mind seeks

My pain has a way of being around

To beat me to death as I fall to the ground

The rain and the blood from broken heart patched

Like nothing I've seen, my spirit has crashed

It leaves me like this, away from my health

What was in my heart is now in my self

I lifted my head and she was above

Her face bore the grace of a beautiful dove

She beat me to death on that beautiful plain

My tears and my blood serenading the rain

My tears and my blood will fill me again

My tears and my blood will fill me again

Author's Note

Any feedback is greatly appriciated

Reviews

[Timeless-Chan]

wow i'm awestruck by the pure emotion and expression that this piece holds. the battle that the narrator goes through is just pure sorrow and pain. and the last lines just seem to pull the piece together perfectly. I love the line "My tears and my blood serenading the rain" it's both beautiful and heartbreaking.
Bravo:)

[ewest1220]

Thanks! I'm thrilled you like it!

[Sam Gregory]

This is very emotional, I could feel it as I read it. It really connects with the reader, keep at it :)

[ewest1220]

Thanks!

[Serenity Faith]

The imagery in this is so palpable....and the resonance from the last two lines being repeated leaves an even stronger impression. Very well done once again.

[ewest1220]

Thanks! Once again I'm thrilled that you like my work!

[Serenity Faith]

Anytime ^_^ Can't wait to read more

[BrynnaW.]

Truly a beautiful and heart tugging poem. Written perfectly, all of the emotions came through very clearly. This was such a sad poem with an excellent flow. I really enjoyed reading. Good job and keep on writing!

[ewest1220]

Thanks! I'm really thrilled you liked it!

[SashaBella]

"My pain has a way of being around to beat me to death as I fall to the ground," so profound. This poem was filled with powerful images of a man in pain, suffering. It pulled at my heart. I will read this over and over. Thank you.

[ewest1220]

Wow that's great that you like it! Thank you so much for reading!

[Eve]

oh my goodness, this was so full of emotion it almost had me in tears, and that's what poetry is, great job!

[ewest1220]

Thanks! I'm really glad you liked it!

[Laura]

"But rust as rust will, will crumble and fall
And drenched in my tears I'll desperately crawl
Away from the blood that broken heart leaks
Away from the pain that broken mind seeks
My pain has a way of being around
To beat me to death as I fall to the ground"

Very true. This is a great write

[ewest1220]

Thanks! Glad you liked it.

[Laura]

I did lol :)

[Mz]

I see everyone loved the last line and I did too. But actually I wanted to say that I loved the first two!

Love it! Love it!

[ewest1220]

Thanks! Make sure you send me some read requests so I can have a look at you work as well!

[ewest1220]

I'm thrilled that you like my work!

[Cristina Moldoveanu]

I think this is uplifting in the beginning. In this poem you are self confident, you try to get away from pain, but in the end it is a little sad. Life has its ups and downs.

[ewest1220]

Very true, very true. Thanks for reading!

[YourMajesty2102]

I like the flow of it! Good job!

[ewest1220]

Thanks!

[TheJordBaker]

really powerful, the ending is fantastic.

[ewest1220]

Thanks! Glad you liked it!