Broken Rain

Broken Rain 

By: Ethan West

I am not like you

A battered bridge for others use

I am not like me

The man who fell down on his knees

A broken heart tied up with thread

Left scars of silence in it's tread

And even now my thought does cease

As tired mind attempts to ease

My sorrows right here ending my pain

Like a rusted rain jacket to fend off the rain

But rust as rust will, will crumble and fall

And drenched in my tears I'll desperately crawl

Away from the blood that broken heart leaks

Away from the pain that broken mind seeks

My pain has a way of being around

To beat me to death as I fall to the ground

The rain and the blood from broken heart patched

Like nothing I've seen, my spirit has crashed

It leaves me like this, away from my health

What was in my heart is now in my self

I lifted my head and she was above

Her face bore the grace of a beautiful dove

She beat me to death on that beautiful plain

My tears and my blood serenading the rain

My tears and my blood will fill me again

My tears and my blood will fill me again

Author's Note

Any feedback is greatly appriciated

Reviews

[Timeless-Chan]

wow i'm awestruck by the pure emotion and expression that this piece holds. the battle that the narrator goes through is just pure sorrow and pain. and the last lines just seem to pull the piece together perfectly. I love the line "My tears and my blood serenading the rain" it's both beautiful and heartbreaking.
Bravo:)

[ewest1220]

Thanks! I'm thrilled you like it!

[Good Times]

Very emotional poem. I really enjoyed reading it. Keep up the great work.

[ewest1220]

Thanks! Glad you like it!

[afra]

wow ...amazing ...you are a awesome writer ....good job

[ewest1220]

Thanks! Glad you liked it!

[Rhea752]

the poem was well expressed and powerful. the emotions were relate-able. the last two lines were striking and almost maniacal. it was like the character was desperately telling himself things would get better. i loved the poem. great job!!!

[ewest1220]

Now that you mention it you have a real good point on the maniacal part. What a great new perspective on my work! Thank you so much for reading and I'm thrilled you enjoy it!

[Rhea752]

thank you for writing it. i enjoyed it very much :D

[realmwriter]

I really like this for it is simular to one I wrote titled Blood in the Rain. I write simular poetry myself, so I can relate to this piece. Very well done.

[ewest1220]

Blood in the Rain. Send me a read request man I'd love to take a look at it. And thanks for reading I'm glad you liked it!

[realmwriter]

Not a prob and it is on its way...!

[Kacee]

I Love love love the way you right. Every line is so deep. It's absolutely wonderful! I hope oneday I'll become as great of a writer as you are.

[ewest1220]

Funny you actually made me blush! I'm really thrilled you like my work thank you so much for reading!

[Jordan A. Wilson]

very nice flow

[ewest1220]

Thanks!

[Mockingjay]

Geez :) Love it. She beat me to death on that beautiful plain, My tears and my blood serenading the rain... all i see is wings and pain. Well done again.

[ewest1220]

Thanks! :) I really like that you enjoyed it!

[Androglossia]

The character is letting the audience know the painful battle he had with love. That love is so powerful that it can make you or break you. And once i'ts damaged it also shatters your soul.

Your poem is emotionally driven. Great piece!

[ewest1220]

I love how you translate my works thank you so much for reading!

[Kevin S.]

Wow! There was a lot of emotion in this. It's pretty sad, but in a good way. Good job!

[ewest1220]

Thanks! I'm glad you liked it!