Broken Rain

Broken Rain 

By: Ethan West

I am not like you

A battered bridge for others use

I am not like me

The man who fell down on his knees

A broken heart tied up with thread

Left scars of silence in it's tread

And even now my thought does cease

As tired mind attempts to ease

My sorrows right here ending my pain

Like a rusted rain jacket to fend off the rain

But rust as rust will, will crumble and fall

And drenched in my tears I'll desperately crawl

Away from the blood that broken heart leaks

Away from the pain that broken mind seeks

My pain has a way of being around

To beat me to death as I fall to the ground

The rain and the blood from broken heart patched

Like nothing I've seen, my spirit has crashed

It leaves me like this, away from my health

What was in my heart is now in my self

I lifted my head and she was above

Her face bore the grace of a beautiful dove

She beat me to death on that beautiful plain

My tears and my blood serenading the rain

My tears and my blood will fill me again

My tears and my blood will fill me again

Author's Note

Any feedback is greatly appriciated

Reviews

[Timeless-Chan]

wow i'm awestruck by the pure emotion and expression that this piece holds. the battle that the narrator goes through is just pure sorrow and pain. and the last lines just seem to pull the piece together perfectly. I love the line "My tears and my blood serenading the rain" it's both beautiful and heartbreaking.
Bravo:)

[ewest1220]

Thanks! I'm thrilled you like it!

[Justin Flume]

This somewhat punched in the gut whilst giving me a weird handjob.
I love it.
I hate it.
Which means f*****g good write man.

[ewest1220]

lol great description by the way. I'm glad you liked it my friend thanks for reading!

[Baby Ricochet]

Good. I like emotional writing. I'll admit mine tends to be violent or horny but using my own experience and I'm sure you are too. thanx...

[ewest1220]

lol thanks! I'm glad you liked it!

[Pax]

very interesting. i really like the flow and rhyme it suites well. great job.

[ewest1220]

Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed my work!

[Garu]

Marvelous and masterful. Not a word out of place, and not a rhyme without rhyme. Splendid poem: reading it I was struck by a wave of emotion. It expresses a life of pain and torment with such a masterful lyrical quality. I'm giving this a perfect score.

"Away from the blood that broken heart leaks
Away from the pain that broken mind seeks"

Brilliant

[ewest1220]

Wow thank you so much! I'm really glad you enjoyed my work!

[Garu]

Dude you have talent, so don't you waste it.

[ewest1220]

Will do :)

[~*~Peace Keeper~*~]

This is really good I liked how it flowed.
Great Job

[ewest1220]

Thanks!

[Mary Gatlin]

Wonderfully written poem the pain really exudes from the page the description of "her face bore the grace of a beautiful dove" and "she beat me to death on that beautiful plain" was painfully beautiful keep up the great work!

[ewest1220]

Thanks! I'm really glad you liked it!

[Destinyxi]

Raw emotion envelops this poem. This is a really good poem. Keep it up!

[ewest1220]

Thanks! I'm really glad you liked it!

[David Lewis Paget]

I can relate to this, very similar to the type of poetry I wrote when young, some forty years ago; intense and dark. Interesting!
David.

[ewest1220]

Thanks! I'm glad you like it!

[...]

This is full of emotion, and expressed so vividly. One can feel the sorrow clearly! Very well done :)

[ewest1220]

Thank you so much! I'm thrilled you liked it!

[T. Logan]

It's so good it paints an image as i'm reading it. Almost like a scene from a movie.

[ewest1220]

Interesting perspective... I like it! Thanks for reading I'm glad you liked it!