Olive JuiceA Screenplay by BFR
INT.eddies dorm.night
EDDIE,and EMILY enter the dorm room. the room is small and cluttered with food wrappers and textbooks. there are posters on the wall and a bed in the corner. Eddie tosses his keys on his bed. Eddie and Emily position themselves in preparation for an awkward goodbye. Eddie You know what I can't believe? Emily What's that? EDDIE (disgruntled) We sit in line for thirty minutes at huebeck and for what?! I'll tell ya what, we get P.O.W. sized rations *stacked* and *poured* ontop of each other untill we cant even tell what we ordered in the first place. My food needs at least a *two inch* barrior, but *no*, she plops it all together like a painter mixing colors!*I* know what color it's gunna be, *brown*! And thats something I only wanna know *after* I eat. EMILY Oh, relax its not that bad, what would you rather have, a cheesesteak *again*? EDDIe (Sighing) ya, your probably right. the last one tasted like a cold meat sponge anyways. Emily looks around the room with a slight smile. Emily you know, your room is really nice...it's got that real *home-y* feel. one of these days we should just rent a movie, get Chinese food, and stay here for the night. EDDIE (apprehensively) You mean a (gulp) *in* date? EMILY Yes, I think an *in* date would be lovely. whats so wrong with that? EDDIE there nothing wrong with it, it's just... well... im just an *out* kinda guy thats all. (gives goofy self assured smile at Emily) EMILY (shoots a skeptical, unconvinced look) whatever you say ed... Emily looks at clock on the wall EMILY Hey I gotta get going actually, I told my room mate I'd watch (some show name, exp: "Gossip Girl") with her tonight. Eddie's eyes dart to the clock nervously as the minute hand clicks closer to 9PM EDDIE Oh s**t, its nine already?! yeah, you probably want to get out of here before he gets back. EMILY Before *who* gets back? EDDIE My neighbor, he gets back every day from class at 9. Emily well, that doesn't seem so bad... Eddie yeah its not... but Outside you here KEYS FUMBLING and a door OPEN and SHUT EDDIE Well, I guess you'll see for youself... Emily starts to walk towards the door, then turns back an looks lovingly at Ed. EMILY You know ed, before I go I've been meaning to say... well I think were getting along really well and...well...I lo Suddenly BLARING MUSIC eminates from the neightbors room cutting off Emily EMILY (shouting) What *is* that?! EDDIE (shouting) What? I cant hear you, the music's too loud! EMILY (shouting) I'm just gunna go, I'll see you tomorrow Emily leaves the room, and Eddie goes to bed. INT.EVAN'S APARTMENt.DAY EDDIE and EVAN walk into EVAN"S APARTMENT carrying take out food. They pull out stools at the BAR in the KITCHEN and sit down to eat. EDDIE Man, I cant believe its only Tuesday. I don't know if I can make it. Evan To me Tuesday is the most overrated day of the week, not cuz people say its great, but because people dont really talk about how *bad* tusday really is. if anything it worse than Monday. EDDIE (Sighing) *Tue*sday... its Monday, *twice* Evan So ed, tell me about the night with the lady friend. EDDIE (uneasily) Well... EVAN Well? Eddie Well, it's going great and all but... she thinks its going *great*, if you know what I mean EVAN like *great* great? EDDIE Lets just say that if it wasn't for the timely a arrival of my neighbor and the even more timely testing of his sound system, I would have been forced to face the worst three words a man can hear... Evan and Eddie make eye contact and roll their eyes sarcastically EVAN and EDdie (in unison, sarcastically) I love you EVAN Still, I don't get it, cant you just say it back, I mean she really is a nice girl. cute, caring, goes out in *public* with *you* Evan LOOKS at Eddie as he EATS in an extremely messy manner EDDIE (with food falling from mouth) What's that's suppose to mean? EVAN whatever... EDDIE I just can't do it man, and I know she's a great girl. she's got everything I'm looking for, smart, pretty, and is great at finding the serrated edge on the potato chip bag... EVAN (sarcastically) Ahh, those thing are *tricky* aren't they... EDdie (angry) Lies! its a lie! they have the "open here" written on it with the *arrow*! now you tell me, has the opening *ever* lined up with the arrow. I tell ya, it's *never* happened....*ever*! I just end up biting on the thing like im trying to arm a granade! Its mortifying, I cant get chips in public. But Emily...She finds it *every time*, shes like a bloodhound I swear. EVAN So what's the problem then? EDDIE Well the thing is... she's a laugh snorter. EVAN A what? EDDIE A laugh snorter, you know, every time she laughs hard EVAN (rolls eyes) Which is often im sure.. EDDIE (continued) ... she snorts. And I believe you're aware of my tragic history with snorters... EVAN (exacerbated) Jesus Ed, your dad was a butcher and you named your pig *bacon*, what did you think was gunna happen?! And besides, you were 5 years old for Christ's sakes, this is a *human being*, who loves *you*! EDDIE Bacon was family god d****t! it was a real life tragedy what happened to that lovely animal. I swore that day *never* to love another snorter till the day I died, and im not about to start now, its too painful... Evan unwraps his sub and starts to eat it EVAN (with disgusted look) uckk.. EDDIE Whats the matter? EVAN (disgusted) this sub is *awful*, it tastes like someone poured... A LOUD NOISE happens and Eddie can only see Evan's lips move EVAN (continued) ...olive juice on it. A disinterested Eddie mistakes the mouthed "olive juice" for the phrase "I love you" EDDIE What did you say? EVAN This sub, it tastes like someone dumped a can of olive juice on it, it's all soggy and gross. I cant finish this... Evan PUSHES the sandwich away from him in disgust EDDIE (contemplative, and distracted) Oh, I see... The door SWINGS open and SKEEZE crashes in. Skeeze is wearing a strange outfit equipped with a full backpack of stuff, and large oversized boots. SKEEZE (disgruntled) I cant believe it! EVAN Cant believe what, Skeeze? Skeeze throws the heavy backpack on the table with a CRASH. he UNZIPS the bag and pulls out a couple large powerstrips. SKEEZE These baby's that's what! EDDIE (confused) Why are you carrying around a backpack full of...powerstrips? SKEEZE Oh, I'm selling these baby's, 50$ a pop! That's 15% off, its quite the bargain. Evan and Eddie PICK UP a powerstrip and unenthusiastically examine them. EVAN Skeeze, there has to be at least 50 outlets on each one of these things. you could land an F-15 on this. Skeeze That's a *dollar* per *outlet*, I can't imagine why you *wouldn't* want one of these bad boys! EDDIE (sarcastically) Yeah, if your Alice Cooper... Skeeze You guys interested? Evan and Eddie shakes their heads Skeeze Alright, well in that case I think I best be going... Skeeze noticed Evans sub and looks interested SkeeZe Hey, you mind? (motions to sub) EVAN Be my guest Skeeze takes a large bit and licks his lips in satisfaction. SKEEZE MMMMmmmmmmMMM! That's a good sub. (smacks lips), *juicy* too... you mind if I take it with me? EVAN By all means.... Skeeze TAKES THE SUB and begins to head towards the door. ON the way he trips on his large boots (or a cord or something) and awkwardly stumbles before catching his balance. EDDIE Skeeze *what* are those things (points to boots) SKEEZE Oh, you mean the new Lumberchucks? these baby's nearly ran me broke. that's why I gotta sell these strips. But *man*, the *comfort*. (pats shoes lovingly). they're like a playgroud for your toes, and rumor has it these things are lined with real panda fur. EVAN (skeptically) Well, good luck with your *endeavors*. Skeeze SCHLEPS the backpack over his shouler and STUMBLES out of the door. EDDIE On that note, I better be going too, I got class at 2 and I gotta be there early. EVAN Early? why? EDDIE Gotta get the back corner seat, I didn't get much sleep last night so I'm trying to catch up. EVAN Ah, you're right, gotta act early on the prime real estate. Eddie Leaves the Apartment. INT.EDDIES DORM.Night Eddie and Emily walk into Eddies Dorm. The dorm is in similar condition as earlier. Both appear happy and are still wearing the 3D glasses from a moive. EMily Wow that was really great wasnt it? EDDIE (unhappily) Nu uh, no more 3D movies for me! EMILY What?! Why?! It was *amazing*, I felt like I was actually *in* the movie! EDDIE Thats the thing, it was *too* real, I spent the whole time looking at the backround, I have still have no idea what the damn thing was about! EMILY (passionately) Oh, Ed it was wonderful... the characters were deep, the love felt true, and the planet was really *alive*. I just thought it was wonderful! EDDIE Well for me all I remember was sitting down, glasses on, (speaks rapidly) trees, people, dragons, guns, BOOM, BANG, BOOM... End of movie. EMILY I understand... well, IM just glad to spend a night with you... Emily looks affectionatly at Eddie. they sit down on the bed and Emily CLICKS the TV on as Eddie puts his arm around her. A sitcom (or stand up comic) flashes on the screen. EMILY (excited) ooowwww, (random name "lewis black" maybe) is my favorite. Eddie rolls his eyes slightly and they both briefly watch the TV. A PUNCHLINE comes from the TV and Emily LAUGHS HARD and begins to SNORT. Eddie chringes and stares briefly at a PHOTO of him and his pig Bacon lying on his desk. EMILY (lovingly) Oh Ed, I've had such a wonderful night with you... Emily STARES into Eddies eyes EMILY ...and i just wanted to say... From nextdoor we hear KEYS JINGLING and a door OPENING and SHUTTING as his neighbor BRENDAN enters his room. Emily ... I... love you Eddie... Eddie look extremely uncomfortable when he hears this and just as she finishes, the DEAFENING BOOM of music BLASTS through the walls. Emily stars at Eddie as, all of a sudden, Eddie has a sudden realization that she can't hear him at all. The light bulb goes off in his head and his face briefly shows excitement. EDDIE (with conviction) Olive juice Emily sees Eddie say "olive juice" but, like before with Eddie and Evan, She mistakes it for "I love you". Emily reacts with an extremely affectionate look. INT.EVAN'S APARTMENT.DAY Evan sits on a bar stool reading a newspaper. Suddenly Eddie BARGES through the door with a huge grin and his arms thrown up in the air in satisfaction. EDDIE (euphorically) Olive Juice! EVAN (confused) What are you talking about? Eddie Its a miracle I tell you, a miracle! EVAN Jesus Ed, would ya take a breath and tell me whats going on? Eddie PULLS out a stool and SITS down next to Evan. EDDIE (excited) well, you remember my dilemma earlier? EVAN Ah, yes, the dreaded phrase right? Eddie ya, ya, that. well, anyways we go out to see that 3D movie last night.. EVAN the alien one? EDDIE ya, that one... EVAN (cutting off) I saw it too and I'll tell ya, I'm not a fan of this whole 3D thing; too distracting, too much going on. I tell ya I cant even remember what the darn thing was about, I was too busy looking at all the foliage... Eddie (sidetracked, nodding in agreement) Exactly, I just couldn't keep my eyes off of it.... all those trees....so much green..... EDDIE (regathered) ....but anyways, so we get back from the movie and I'm nervous as hell shes gunna say it. I just *know* shes gunna say it, I'm just hoping I can get out of there *alive*. then, as if God himself heard my prayers, the clock strikes nine.... EVAN (confused) Im not sure I follow... EDDIE (increasingly enthusiastic) You'll see, you'll see.... so she finally says the dreaded words, and I freeze. I'm *toast* I think, but like I said before it was nine o clock, which *means* Brendan gets back in the room, which also *means*thats hes gunna blast that music, which *means* that no one cane hear each other talk!...dont you see what I'm getting at?! EVAN (Befuddled) Do I ever? EDDIE Its all about *Olive juice*!... You remember when you had that terrible sandwich yesterday and you said it tasted like someone poured olive juice on it? EVAN Yeah... EDDIE Well when you said "olive juice" (that loud noise) happened and I couldn't hear you at all....but I did see your lips move. And when you mouth the words olive juice it looks just like your saying.... Eddie Gestures to Evan to complete the thought. His revelation finally hits Evan. EVAN (eureka moment) ...I love you. EDDIE Exactly! It's genius evan I'm telling you. this may have just saved the whole thing for me. who knows, I may just buy enough time to actually say I love you and *mean* it. EVAN Thats genius. so what are you gunna do now? EDDIE Thats the best part! All I have to do is make sure when she says it, it's after nine and Brendan is back in the room. its perfect! This absolutely cannot *fail*....Oh, that reminds me, I gotta go get some stuff for tonight, I'll see ya later. Evan (waving goodbye) God Speed. INt.Eddie's Hallway.day Skeeze talks to an unseen person at the foot of their door and is clearly pitching his powerstrips by DISPLAYING them. After a couple seconds of muddled dialogue, the door shuts on Skeeze and he begins to wander to the next room dejected. Skeeze comes to the foot of BRENDAN's door and as he REACHES his hand to knock, BLARING music SPUTTERS from behind the door. Clearly intrigued, Skeeze knocks and is let in by Brendan. int.Brendan's Room.day Skeeze enters Brendan's Room. The Room is extremely clutted with speakers and sound equipment. CD's, wires, and cables lay strewn around and Brendan is seen attempting to put multiple plugs into a singular outlet. SKEEZE Hey man, quite a room you got here BRendan Ya It may not look like much now, but I got *big* plans for this place SKEEZE (intrigued) I can *see* that, what's the plan? Brendan STANDS up and WRAPS his arm around Skeeze. They both gaze optimistically around the room. Brendan (passionately) Picture this; you're coming back to your room after a long day of classes. You walk in, and once inside you're surrounded (gestures with hands), floor to ceiling, with *sound*.*Pure*..*true*...*glorious* *sound*! SKEEZE (awestruck) That would be *incredible*.... BRENDAN (sighing) I know, I know, but it will never come to be I'm afraid... SKEEZE Why's that? you seem to have the stuff, and I would be *more* than willing to help. BRENDAN I know, supplies are not the problem... Skeeze Then what is it then? Brendan PICKS UP multiple plugs and mockingly pokes them at the lone power socket. BRENDAN I dont have nearly enough outlets! (buries hand in face) All this *time* and all this money...*wasted*! Skeeze's face lights up as he looks to his giant backpack protruding with the unsold powerstrips. SKEEZE Actually... I think I might be able to help you out... INT.EDDIES DORM.NIGHT Eddie and Emily come into Eddie's Room. They are happy and Eddie is carrying a take out bag and a rental movie. Eddie places the food and movie EMILY Oh Ed, Im so happy you finally wanted to go on an *in* date. What happened to the *out* guy of yesterday? EDDIE (rapid and happy, gestures with hands) I'm *in*, Im *out*, Im *in*, Im *out*, Im *everywhere* (exploding his hands) EMILY lets see what my *in* man got for our night *out*... Emily reaches for the video on the desk and PICKS IT UP. Eddie looks extremely self satisfied. Emily (looking at video) The Notebook III.....In Space?! EDDIE (Oblivious excitement) Last copy on the rack! ...And you said I would never learn to compromise. Emily rolls her eyes and puts the movie IN the player. They proceed to TAKE OUT the food and begin to eat. The movie begins to play. EMILY Eddie, this is in french! EDDIE (restraining excitment) I know (gleefully happy), its got subtitles! EMILY Why on earth would you want subtitles, you barely read the ticker on Sportcenter?! EDDIE (looking into her eyes) I know, but you remember the whole roommate situation dont you? I figured this way no matter how loud it gets we can still enjoy our movie (holds her hand affectionatly), together... Emily looks lovingly at Eddie and rests her head on his shoulders as the movie plays. INT.BRENDAN'S ROOM.night Brendan is shown in his room which is cluttered floor to ceiling with sound equitment. Wires and cables are laced and webbed throughout the room and Skeeze's Powerstrips dangle from their ends. Brendan tiptoes around the cables and wires carrying more equitment to set up. BRENDAN (looking around in wonder) So close.... All of a sudden Skeeze BURSTS through the door carrying the last of the equitment to set up. SKEEZE Have no fear, the Skeeze is here! BRENDAN You got it? SKEEZE I sure do, lets get this baby *rocking*! INT.EDDIES DORM.NIGHT Eddie and Emily cuddle while watching the movie. EMILY You really impressed me tonight Eddie... Eddie looks at the clock nervously, it's slightly after 9PM and worry is clearly seen on his face as he senses Emily is about to confess her love. EMILY ...and I think we've really grown close these last couple days, well I guess what I'm getting at is, I lo.. EDDIE (cutting her off) Wow! dont you just (begins to say love but corrects himself mid-word) *really* enjoy this movie! EMILY (slightly started) ...well ya, it's great... but what I was *saying* was that... I love you Eddie. Eddie has a momentary look of panic when suddenly music BLASTS from the other room. Eddie looks to the sky and mouths "thank you". INT. BRENDAN'S ROOM.night Music BLASTS from the surrounding speakers and Skeeze and Brendan rock out euphorically around the many wires and cables in the room. INT.EDDIES DORM.night Eddie and Emily casually embrace while watching the moive in subtitles. the LOUD MUSIC plays over everything and Eddie confidently mouths "olive juice" multiple times to Emily with increasing outlandishment. Emily clearly swells with affection as Eddie serenades her. INT.BRENDAN'S ROOM.NIGHT Skeeze and Brendan continue to escalate their "rocking out". They are euphorically happy and suddenly Skeeze breaks out in air guitar. All of a sudden Skeeze's large boots catch on the cables and he falls over, disconnecting all the wires on the way down. the music comes to an ABRUPT END. INT.EDDIES DORM.NIGHT Eddie is theatrically Shouting "olive juice" to emily. When suddenly you hear and ELECTRICAL CRASH and ABRUPT STOP of the music. Eddie inhales deeply, readying himeself for a loud projection of "olive juice" as the music is suddely cut out. EDDIE (kneeling theatrically) Olive juice! EMILY (alarmingly confused) What did you just say?! INT.EVAN'S APARTMENT.DAY Evan is sitting at the Bar and is casually eating and reading the paper. Suddenly Eddie BARGES THROUGH THE DOOR. he is clearly upset. EVAN Whoa, what happened to you? EDDIE (Irate) Olive juice! end © 2010 BFRReviews
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1 Review Added on April 19, 2010 Last Updated on April 19, 2010 Author
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