Mjolnir

I've been thinking a lot over the past few months about how I break things.  Mostly unintentionally, but there have been a few things that have been done with malice.  I have wreaked havok on people, places, and shredded items of value both sentimental and monetary.  It seems to be a self defense mechanism to make people distance themselves from me.  My humor is skewed towards cynical on the border of hurtful.  I make fun of everyone and everything.  It's second nature to me.  It keeps me from developing anything more than a slightly working friendship with anyone.  It keeps me painfully aware of where I am supposed to be in this stage of my life.  The only time I become concerned is when I cannot rely on my humor to distance myself from someone.  It has happened to me quite a few times over the past couple of years and more recently due to having to let go of someone who is very dear to me.  Then again, they were not mine to begin with, so that should give you a slight idea as to how far I would go to f**k up someones' life.  Saying that I am troubled is a severe understatement.  Trying to change this s**t is turning out to be f*****g ridiculous.  And the God I believe in drives home the point of my actions by extracting a bit of revenge.  Today I just learned that my son, who is my parents only natural grandson, wants to be adopted by his stepfather.  Five months before he turns eighteen.  I will not fight it.  F*****g done.