Senna Orphan

A Story by yellow devil

I gave and knew it would never be enough. Your light blue eyes flecked with green would always inform me of how unhappy you were. I put the ring on your finger for all the wrong reasons...or just the one wrong reason. I knew who you were and you knew who I was. I can't even begin to try to tell the story of how you felt, only what I felt. It was mostly pain. I gave you my world. You knew it was trash. I always wanted to talk to try to find out what was bothering you. In hindsight it was one of the major issues that was pushing you away. I would say I'm sorry, but that point is dulled to uselessness. Trust dissolved into the ocean of anger that was churning into a monsoon of rage. I stayed afloat long enough to let go of hope and just exist. Going through the motions of life just to let you vent your frustration. I never poured my heart out until I lost your trust. With that pour spilled what was left of my emotions for you. Given a second chance, I'd repeat every action I did then. You knew how to twist that stiletto. Standing in front of you with your hateful stare as you let loose your barrage of measured insults, I felt it all slipping away. Your actions after I turned promised me I'd never feel the same. Cocooned off into my own little world, mutual friends would ask about what was going on. Your barbed remarks were chapters more than anything I would let slip. Never will I be him again. Nobody will ever cross that threshold into my existence without knowing that there will be repercussions. You didn't prevent me from ever being able to love, just the ability to love anybody new. Solace was found in a very wrong situation, and I scarred that soul. The torment continues, but only because the mind has free will, and I have no control over dreams. But I do have to thank you. For without my years with you, I would not have reason to feel the way I do. It would be that much harder to explain.