LDR Syndrome

Long Distance Relationship Syndrome ...

LDR Syndrome

It hurts so much when I know
I can’t talk to you and can’t see you,
Can’t hold you and can’t be with you.

I don’t know what to do my love
But I love you and all I want is for us to be one soon
I don’t want to be without you, not now, not ever.

Why does this going on so and why must things be so hard,
Why this distance is there in between and
Why every passing second is so long??
Why is there nothing we can do to be together when I need you most?

I want to hold your hand, I want to kiss your forehead,
I want to hug you tight and see your smile,
I want to look into your eyes for telling you that
“I love you” and know you’re mine…


Now take a warning from me,
The next time you are not allowed to travel alone
I miss you so much and it's hard to fight back my tears...



~AK~

© Eve Ola

Reviews

[Penny]

I had this syndrome during my first relationship. Nice description and very emotional. Very subtle write.

[Kurayami]

You expressed your feelings of hurt really nicely in this poem. I like the last line.

~Kurayami

[Eve Ola]

thanks dear :)

[anne]

lovely read...................

[Eve Ola]

Thanks ....

[Matching Socks]

It's hard to lose someone you love, you miss them forever, or at least a long time depending on the circumstances. LDR? Are these the initials?

[Eve Ola]

LDR - Long distance relationship . Thanks for stopping by :)

[Matching Socks]

Ahhhhhhhhh. Of course.

[J. K. Beach]

Eve, you have penned a poignant cry against the trials of long-distance romance/love. It is never easy... the longing hurts, the memory is insufficient, and it's really pretty lame to try hugging yourself, but the joy, ecstasy, and feelings of unbounded love when reunited are priceless.

Your poem flows really well, but there are a couple of things I will point out... use them as you wish. #1) So I can be taken seriously, I try not to use graphic shortcuts like ampersands '&' or 'n's for the word 'and' in a poem--they mess with with the flow of your words (if you must, use only one or the other and use it consistently), I also try avoid emoticons like smiley/sad faces in a serious poem and save them for the comments sections.

Those are just little things but #2) is more substantial: the last stanza is a little unclear to me, and it seems to be the most important one. Maybe try "Now take a warning from me/The next time you are not allowed to travel/I miss you so much that it's hard to fight back my tears" Direct simple sentences work best. Use active rather than passive verbs where possible.

As always my suggestions are just that, suggestions, but I want you to be able to express yourself as clearly as possible and I think that is your goal as well. Well done! Keep writing!

[Eve Ola]

for the first time i got such a positive feedback. and the reason why I am here. Thank you so much . Whatever you said I really appreciate and of coarse I consider and amend in my all writings. Thank you so much and keep reviewing my work to learn more :)

[priya]

This is lovely. Long distance relationships have to face very a lot of problems..and you have depicted it beautifully.

[Eve Ola]

Thanks Priya. yes you are right, those who are in can feel this true :)