I Vow - Love Tenderness

Vows that I always keep !!

I Vow - Love Tenderness

I vow,
To love you always,
To be at your side when needed
To be a part of your sadness &
To be your happiness always

I vow,
To be your true companion
To be a true daughter for a family
To be a true friend with tenderness &
To be your pleasing rest place

I vow,
To adore you like a baby
To hug you when there's fall
To support you at your peak &
To love you more of all

I vow,
To help your love life
To hold you with patience that love demands
To speak when words are needed &
To share the silence at its peak

I vow,
To fiercely love you in all your forms
To be your side with each norm
To live within the warmth of your heart &
To call it always my heaven

I vow,
To never forget our love because
This is a once in a lifetime love
What all i said above, I vow
To keep now & forever!!

~AK~

© Eve Ola

Author's Note

May be you found errors or tiring style or repetition but this piece .... I have much strong bonding with this piece of mine. These are not just words but a real commitment and I wrote this when actually I am realizing all these vows.

Reviews

[Kurayami]

The person of whom you are writing the vow to is a very lucky person. I hope that he or she realize it.

~Kurayami

[Eve Ola]

yeah he is :) Thanks

[Sami Khalil]

What a great vow and poem. Thank you for sharing...:).............................

[Eve Ola]

Thanks for feedback :)

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:).............................................

[Ruth]

Beautiful piece love! I really enjoyed this, has such tenderness and glow to it x

[Eve Ola]

Thank you so much Poppy :)

[Leslie Philibert]

Nice poem, the repeats increase tempo, reminds me of the Liverpool poets ( structure ) needs some work, but a good write..

[Eve Ola]

Thanks for stopping by, I do consider :)

[J. K. Beach]

OK, Eve,

Lets work on the first stanza and then you can transfer the pattern to the rest. But first let me say that you are expressing strong commitments here. That is difficult to do sometimes, but you have handled it well.

Yours:

I vow,
To love you always,
To be at your side when needed
To be a part of your sadness &
To be your happiness always

The problem for me is the visual and verbal repetitiveness of the "to's" and the "be's" -- they are insignificant words and need not be repeated every time. Vow on the other hand is the crux of the piece so it is perfectly reasonable to repeat it.

You already had a nice four clause sentence structure laid out, so just eliminate the unnecessary little words and let things flow more freely--like a melody instead of a staccato drum. So.....

Possible Revisions:

I vow,
To love you always,
And stay at your side when needed,
Take part in your sadness,
and
Be your happiness always

I vow,
To......

It's actually pretty simple and doesn't change much about the meaning, just the flow. You've penned some beautiful words now just release them from their formal bondage and let them fly free. But, as always, these are just suggestions. Make them your own.

JKB

[Eve Ola]

again thank you fir giving me such time. i do consider what you said in my new poems. the way i endup in last stanza is what you are saying. n now i am realizing the last stanza is more free to read. thanks for the tip :) i will send you another one too

[anne]

it feel too good toread this......very well penned.......

[Eve Ola]

Thank you so much, Anne :)

[caide]

hmmmm life time love is good one

[Eve Ola]

yes always :)

[ron]

A beautiful vow of love. He is a very lucky man for you to love him that much.

[Eve Ola]

Thank you so much Ron :)

[ron]

You are very welcome Eve :)

[ron]

Don't listen to Chris Eva. This is a wonderful poem and if he doesn't like it he doesn't have to read it.
Chris get over yourself already and leave everyone alone.

[Writer at last! Sky ~]

Wonderfully wrote! Simply great!

[Eve Ola]

Thanks for worthy words :)

[Writer at last! Sky ~]

Welcome friend!

[Matching Socks]

Wow, this could easily be a wedding vow?
Was it? It's beautiful.

[Eve Ola]

i call it vows for entire life. Thank you :)

[Matching Socks]

Good call. :)