A Realization: The Mind Game

Don't fool yourself!

      He sat across me but his eyes focused on everything but me. It was the cold shoulder that I knew so well.
     I looked down to look for the dead bird on his forearm and surely there it was, and it made me smile. I looked up at his face and my smile rapidly converted into an awkward smirk. The smirk led to his acknowledgement. He finally looked me in the eyes and I got out of him that goofy smile. We always eventually cave.
    "So you got it after all, huh?" "Yeah..." He put out his arm to let me get a better look. The knife that went through the birdie had a nice chrome look to it. The birdie was blue with shades of aqua green and baby blue highlights. The droplets of blood blended in with the rest of his sleeve. I was impressed. "Looks good." He smiled, avoiding my face. "Tanks." A moment of silence accompanied by the sound of typing from the computer the cops were using to key in our information. The silence seemed to go on for a couple more seconds. Then, he slowly bent down and kissed my bare thigh. A gentle kiss. A sweet kiss. Soft.
     What an idiot! Vulnerable idiot! What coincidence this is!
 A warmness proliferated throughout my body. Starting from chest and working its way down. Things like that get to me. Gentle kisses in strange spots. I always, always wanted someone to kiss me on the shoulder. And he did. One day he did. How ever did he know?   
   Oh, what does it matter?  It was only a dream!
    I realize that it's all in the mind, not the moment. In your mind a memory of a time that was nice is 10x's cooler than the moment itself. It's not real, It's all in the mind. The longing of someone grows in the mind. It just sits there and grows, especially if you let the memories linger. The longer you allow the memories to linger, the more obscure they become and the more they are subject to become molded by your own mind. You remember things how you want to remember them. The emotions that you had are multiplied, fooling you into thinking that something that wasn't so great was actually something pretty damn awesome. It's all a fake; it's a mind game! The only way to win this game is to eradicate those memories from your mind. He doesn't belong there anyway...My mind made him out to be someone that was worth more than he really was. When reality states that he is a pathetic loser. He didn't make me fall in love with him; my mind did.