REally?

thoughts. Mood: Hot, Strange. July 27, 2009

Hey, what if we don't even exist?

What if Channelview doesn't exist?

What if Earth doesn't exist?

What if this life of 18 years has only been going on for 18 minutes?

If it ends tomorrow, will we find out the truth? What is the truth?

Are we like lab rats? And if so, to whom? Who is the scientist?

Were we put here for alien's entertainment? Are they all laughing at us this very moment? Are they going to zap me in a minute? Because I know the truth?

Is this all what Scientology is based on? Am I a Scientologist now?

Naw, I wouldn't believe it was aliens because I think that sometimes I believe what I want to believe, okay? And if I think that extraterrestrials are frightening, then I don't have a reason to want to believe that we are their puppets, so they're not. What does that make me? If I only believe what I want to? If that is even true? Is it a source to run away? An excuse... I don't speak to my Dad because I'm scared and I get upset and intranquil when I even hear about him. Because he is far and always has been against his will? I don't want to think of what he's doing over there or what he's feeling. Is it depression, loneliness? Or is he okay and with company? I don't even know if I want to know the truth. Either way, the truth hurts. Now I am growing apart from the ones I love. Why? Because they are far and people move on. Life goes on. I don't know if this makes me a bad person or a negative person but, hey, I'm in a weird mood right now. What I'm writing today may not make sense to me tomorrow.. Well I'm lying. It will most likely will, but you know...

Author's Note

I'm pretty pissed. I just typed all this and something went wrong and I pressed save and it didn't save! It just went back to the log in screen and when I logged in, It said, "EvelynMartinez, no writing yet." Oh Hell. ... let's try this again =[[

Reviews

[nighttimesnoozer]

why do you comment your self!! i love the way you write

[Angel's Lady]

Type it somewhere else and cut/paste; otherwise, you'll stay pissed a lot.

Great rambling stream of consciousness; thanks for sharing it. Hey, if we have stereo, why don't the frogs? ("You've just Croak Me, by The Four Tadpoles".) And maybe there are tiny grocery stores for the insects. ("Helen, leaves are on sale at The Happy Buzz-In today.") I mean, who's to say we are at the top of the food chain? Maybe someone is eating us.

Anyway, now I'm as crazy as you. Oh snap.
Great write, though!
G.

[Punk rocker]

great job these are one of those poems that talk about something that poeple always seem to be thinking about