Memories

A very short story I wrote for a creative writing project. Let me know what you think :)

Memories

 

The sweat poured from His brow as thoughts raced through His mind. His adversary was not one to be taken lightly �" oh no, He was quite the formidable foe. He was the one person who stood in His way, constantly evading the sword stroke of defeat by the width of a hair, and then somehow retorting with an unavoidable riposte to claim victory.

The defeats themselves weren’t bothersome. Defeat had happened many times before. No one was perfect; no one could win all the time. It is learning from the mistakes of the past that lead to the successes of the future, after all.

No, it wasn’t the defeats that were bothersome. It was the smile. The smile that always grew to maddening proportions just as He was about to win. The smile that immediately preceded His every defeat. The smile that brought destruction to all His plans and patience and efforts in a single sweep.     The smile that followed His thoughts everywhere.

The smile of a Devil.

His thoughts floated back to the situation at hand. His eyes chanced towards His rival. He appeared as usual; emotionless, expressionless. A colossus waiting on His move, only to animate and crush it shortly after.

But not this time.

This time, He had made a mistake. There was a crack in the great colossus’ defence. An overlooked Achilles heel that was left unprotected. Seeing this, His mind knew that this was His chance. His chance for revenge. His chance for redemption. His chance to be the one smiling.

And thus making His move, it was indeed His turn to be the one smiling. The smile grew as His rival, stirring into action, realised He was in danger. It grew wider as He tried desperately to cover the weakness. It grew wider still as He began to realise He was going to lose. 

And as He looked down in defeat, His smile grew as wide as it could. His victory had been claimed, His pride had been restored. At last, His rival was defeated. At last, success.

But then His rivals head rose, and, instead of wearing the drawn face of defeat, He wore something quite different.

He wore that smile.

As that smile grew, His faded. Realising that He had put that weakness there as a trap, His face fell further. And as He delivered the newest in a long line of killing blows, He made it clear that it had never been His turn to smile.

With that, His older brother rose and walked away, still wearing that devils smile, while His mind was left to deal with the fact that He had won yet another game of Monopoly.

Author's Note

Rate and Review. Sorry for how long It's taken to get this loaded up. I have had a LOT of stuff to do. But that's no excuse. Fire away, el capitans !!!!

Reviews

[Marie]

This is a good story witha good twist at the end. But the capitalized He's and His's are confusing. Perhaps you could use a proper name for one and a pronoun for the other.

[Evan Kayes]

Thanks for the review, and you know not long after posting it and reading it with fresh eyes, i thought that myself. It's annoying me now, so i think will change that asap. Thanks again for the review.