Where Fences are Stronger than Men's Will

There is a place where there are only feilds and farms and fences, and there are laws about fences, like that you can't go over them, that there are punishments for going over them.

So these two farms were surrounded by fences and there was a boy and there was a girl and they met by the fence everyday to play with each other, even with a fence between them, and their love grew.  So the boy held the girl's hand through the fence.

Everyday.

For the rest of his life.

Reviews

[Rosa Sophia]

My first thoughts after reading this were "kinda strange." I like it, lots. But if I were you, I would try to add more to it. These are beautiful images. My question is, what were you intending to convey by writing this? It kind of makes me think of society... two people separated by either the stipulations of their culture, or by distance. I like how vague it is, how you kind of have to guess what your intentions were when you wrote it. Still, I think that you should change it around a bit. Like, instead of saying "There is a place" you could start it by saying "The chilly Autumn breeze whipped across the field and over the fence that separated..." etc, etc... That brings us into the story, brings us to that fence, makes us feel what those two people are feeling... I want to be able to feel what I'm reading. I think that if I could "feel" this piece, it would make it a thousand times better.

[Gone]

Simple and lovely. Sweet and dear. I loved this little story.

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

I like this poem. It's very imaginative. Its kind of sad how the
two people here have their lives ruined by meaningless traditions.
If only they defied the rules. This is a wonderful story. There is
a myriad of themes that lie beneath the surface.

[nostal]

Great, but really short.

[StoryTailor]

Interesting. It's good, I think I would have climbed over the fence. I liked it.