When You Tell Them You Were Raped

title explains it.

Are you sure?

Innocently, they ask

While disbelief coats their tongue like nicotine

There is no escape from judgment here

I’m sorry.

Sympathetic, sweet, generic

They avoid eye contact

Translation: you are now diseased

That’s horrible.

Pity

Pity

Pity

Oh.

Shock, maybe

A bit of disgust

Uncertainty

How old were you?

Did you drink too much?

What were you wearing?

Could you have prevented it?

(Silence)

You are not who I thought you were.

Reviews

[Einstein Noodle]

sadly an attitude proliferated for decades .. on the bright side not as much the case these days .. society sides with the victim at least to some degree ... probably will never be what it should be as victims should they prosecute are torn apart by the "defense" ... brutal and as bestial as the act ... recovery so very difficult i imagine ... as your poem point out ... even friends and family don't quite know what to say or do .. and cliche' phrases and sentiments that fall silent and dead at their feet will never do :((((((((((((( an important social commentary ... sadly all too relevant ... strong voice says i
E.

[Meghan Renee]

Society has begun to shift their view of victims, but there's still so many cases where these narratives are involved. I've personally been subjected to them. I've had family, friends, and even strangers who would say these things to me and it hurts.

In the end, you learn to live with it and even empathize with some of these terms. It's not always about people not believing you, but about them not understanding. So, you help them understand. Not the most ideal way to go about it, but at least then, it has a somewhat good impact.

[Einstein Noodle]

takes a generous forgiving attitude to teach in such situations..so painful what you have gone through ..so brave to write about it here at the Cafe' ... every joke, every slur, every innuendo has to be challenged ... not easy when a job is at stake .. or support non-existent ..but needed for things to keep moving in the right direction .. love and joy my friend!

[Planet x]

your words are so sharp
touched my heart

[Chris]

Yeah, it did... to the title.

But, to your last line: no, I'm not - but THAT is for YOU to work with.

[wordman]

i guess this is why they never report them,it would be even more disgrace,a man that rapes is totally crewed up

[Meghan Renee]

This is part of the reason why people don't report. Another aspect, though, is the fact that the justice system tends to fail the victim. For me, I was told that there was nothing they could do to help me. Even though my abuser admitted to it.

Regardless, words like this do go a long way in why victims stay silent. The fear of how others will react, or their lack of reaction, is crippling. I cannot even begin to tell you the amount of times I wish I kept quiet because of the words people have said to me.

[wordman]

well i totally understand and i am sorry it happened to you,maybe someday it will get easier to reflect on the horror you must have felt

[Meghan Renee]

Thank you for your kind words! And it does get easier, especially with therapy and doing everything in my power to not fall into it. We cannot change the past, but we can use the past to shape the future ^.^

[wordman]

you are right

[John the Baptist]

Sadly, this one illustrates attitudes and reactions that persist.

[Meghan Renee]

The truth of the matter is, people don't know how to react. Most cannot fathom how horrible and life alternating rape can be. I've had to sit through these exact reactions and the more it has happened, the more isolated I would feel. It really sucks :/