Too Much

Feeling like I'm too much for anyone to handle and it really sucks.

My parents are talking in the next room

By talking I mean debating

And by debating I mean arguing

Arguing over what to do with me

I am too much for them to handle

Too angry

Too trauma

Too victim

My mom says I need to be disciplined

I am out of control

And my dad says the things she wants to hear

Forgetting our walls are thin

Just like my childhood when he would drink

Steal bottles of alcohol from work

Hiding it from his children who already knew

Until the night mom said she had enough

This is different

This isn't about alcoholism or even addiction

This is about me

This is about what he did to me

I listen with an ear against the door

"She isn't like other teenagers," my dad says

And my heart sinks

Another reminder of what I will never be