when do you feel the most beautiful?

eating disorders are scary and hard because it seems that no matter what you do, you still don't look right.

It's a backhanded comment

A "You would look so good if you weren't wearing that

If your hair didn't look like that

If your thighs didn't touch

If you were more frail

More thin"

I was never told that my outside appearance was important

But to me, it matters more than I can say

I spend my days starving myself

Longing to be a girl worth falling for

A girl worth looking at

It's hard to think I'm beautiful with these thoughts

Who am I when I'm not hungry?

The thought of gaining weight terrifies me

And every time I do, I cry on the bathroom floor

I cannot imagine something different

A time when I didn't do this

To ask a girl with an eating disorder "When do you feel the most beautiful?"

Is asking her to admit she doesn't

The only times she feels close to it is when the scale drops

And even then

That isn't true beauty