To Be Seen

It's hard being mentally ill because people can't see it, not like you want them to.

I want to feel my ribs through my shirt

I want to look at myself and think

Of how fragile -- how frail I am

I want people to look at me and worry

I want to be someone worth looking at

I want the bags under my eyes to count

The lack of sleep I've had

I want them to hollow out my face

I want to throw up everything I've ever eaten

To feel the emptiness of my stomach

To long for it but to never gain it

I want to look sick

Not the "I have a cold" sick

But the sick that gets you hospitalized

The kind that people look at

And think "She is going to die" sick

The kind that gets you help

I want this sickness inside me

To be seen

I want to be seen