wanting

some nights are harder than others but the feelings do pass

it is 4am and i can't feel my hands

and i think: this is it

tomorrow

is going to be bright

tomorrow

i will be gone

there is no cure for death

you can't choke pills down my throat

and expect me to be alive again

if only God could see me now

lying on the bathroom floor

no begging

no crying

he has let me down too many times

abandoned by a man who promised

to protect me

to love me

i can hear my mother

in the room next to me

and i know this will be the last time

i will never see her again

i will never see anyone again

i can't remember if i told them i love them

what is love other than

caring for someone immensely?

how do my actions portray that?

leaving them in my trail of despair

passing my pain onto them

when does it end?

this cycle of wanting

wanting to be pretty

wanting to be whole

wanting to be dead

how is this any way to live?

because i want to live

more than anything

i want to wake up tomorrow

and not be wanting

it's 4am and for a moment

i see clearly and i realize

i could've had that by now

Reviews

[Einstein Noodle]

again..a straight forward poem .. the vulnerability and deep sadness and pain rip through me ..so, well done! ..i am on your speakers side ... hard not to read this as a confessional poem ... i hope you are OK Meghan ..
E.