Drive Thru

Scott and Becky in love.

    Becky snuck out after her parents fell asleep and sat on the sidewalk down the street. Her things were next to her.

    There was a little rain but not much, and what little there was wasn’t bad. It was the kind that’s refreshing.

    Scott pulled up in his dad’s car. She got in and put her things in the back. They kissed for a long time and drove off.

    She was sitting in the middle leaning against him watching the windshield wipers. He turned the radio on.

    “Can we turn the heater up?”

    “Not yet. I brought a blanket though.” he reached in the back and grabbed it, she held the wheel.

    “Thanks.” she covered her legs and put some on him. He kissed her cheek, it was soft and cold.

    “Are you hungry?”

    “Yeah. I could eat.”

    “What do you want?”

    “Mcdonalds.”

    The first one they saw had two drive thrus. There were a few cars in each of the lanes. He turned the radio down.

    “What do you want?”

    She thought carefully. “Double cheeseburger ketchup only large fries and a coke. Can we get milkshakes?”

    “No, we don’t have enough.”

    “Pwease.” she curled her bottom lip. “Just one wittle milk shake.”

    He smiled. “That won’t work on me.”

They inched forward.

    “I have an idea.” she said.

    “What?”

    “You know how you can get a cup of water for free?”

    “Yeah.”

    “What if we asked for a cup of water and cut in front of the people over there, we’ll take whatever they give us.”

    “That wouldn’t work. Plus that’s their food.”

    “But it could be our food instead. Actually it could be everyone’s food, because they’ll complain and get what they ordered. It’s harmless.”

    “A little dishonest.”   

    “But harmless.”

    He shrugged. They were next in line. “I guess.”

    “Welcome to Mcdonalds.”

    “Can I have a water cup?”

    “Tell them at the second window.”

    They drove passed the first window and waited. A skinny girl with braces handed him a bag and a cup holder with 3 drinks. They drove off and turned the radio up.

    There were a couple cheeseburgers with everything on them in the bag and the drinks were diet.

    “When will we get there?” she said.

    “In about 5 hours.”

    “That’s forever.”

    “It’s not that long.”

    “Where’s your stuff?”

    “I put it in the trunk. can you get my phone?”

    She reached back and pulled it off the charger and gave it to him. “What if they find us?”

    “They won’t. How could they?”

    “What if they do?”

    “Then we’ll be in trouble, but they won’t, and they can’t. How could they? We’re okay.”

    They pulled into an Arby’s parking lot and put their seats back.

    “Can we sleep here?” Becky sounded worried.

    “I’m pretty sure. If they tell us to go we’ll go.”

    “I don’t know, why don’t we keep driving?”
    “Too tired.” Scott closed his eyes.

    “I love you.” she said.

    “Love you too.”

    They held each other's hands and fell asleep.

Author's Note

enjoy.

Reviews

[emipoemi]

This has charm to it. Quite a bit of it. You have some confusing aspects, for instance the water bit.....no idea what image that's trying to paint, and where/what are they running away to/from. Also, if they've already ordered during the water bit, wouldn't the operator have heard their plan? Scott, to me, as well doesn't strike me as someone whose first dining locale is Mcdonald's, so what you should consider with this story is explanation. Not full on exposition, for that tends to bore, but rather fill in the gaps, so we understand the characters better, and in so doing, understand the story better (and therefore appreciate it more). Lastly, instead of saying "things" (at least the first time- the second time is fine), say "belongings". Paints a better picture than things. But over all, this is well written, and it has a good pace to it. Just needs some fleshing out. Well done!

[Zoya]

Sweet and simple; reassuring. Has much more in it than it seems. Tenderly written!