A Pastoral

The lost are loved like silver ribboned presents under golden trees.

Walk between the husks of corn, coarse and currently inanimate,

And hear the whispering wind swirl, bringing to life

Things otherwise stagnate, though very much attentive,

While trees gently braid the hair of girls in white

And children dance around their roots

In circular uniformity to the wispy tunes of leaves.

A wet fence does not an English pasture make,

Though brown and sturdy it may be. 

I wonder if my star will fall from happier places

And meet me once again.

I’ve no one to talk to.

He who knew the starry skies

And darkness blank is gone now.

I’ve still very much to say.

The branches lofty make me sad

With tears falling from infant eyes

And cries of owls perched on high.

And so, it goes for any child

Who dares to walk these fields of green

With no one watching at their side.

 

Author's Note

Reviews would be appreciated :)

Reviews

[apennylate]

Goooorgeous, my friend, you are fast becoming something to keep an eye on... Currently inanimate I find ravishment in the fact that darkness can animate banishment... The child walks alone to the cries of owls in the moonlight... You caught me at the first line, and kept reeling me in. From the starry green to the gentle sway of corn... Or who even knows what I am saying anymore... Beautifully penned...

[Ethan]

Thank you Silente :)) Appreciated as always

[Raven Moonchild]

Ethan, if you do not make a killing as a professional writer, I'm gonna be mad. lol This is fantastic!!!! :D You have a brilliant imagination, my friend. :)

[Ethan]

Thank you very much

[Najam Us Saher]

Very descriptive. I loved the imagery you created. Very good job.

[Ethan]

Thanks!!!!

[Najam Us Saher]

You're welcome.

[Hosimone]

Beautiful imagery here, Ethan! I could see everything you wrote clearly and I enjoyed it all the more because of it. Well done, as always haha!

"While trees gently braid the hair of girls in white" I love this line.

[Ethan]

Thank you :)

[flyingfree]

I really like the wording, however I recommend you choose a different word than 'sad'

[Ethan]

i chose sad to complete the meter. Are there any other one syllable words that mean the same thing?

[flyingfree]

Maybe 'blue'?

[Ethan]

whoa blue is even more cliche than sad

[flyingfree]

oops... sorry i can't think of any
I just thought maybe something more poetic would be good? I'm sorry I commented without thinking

[Ethan]

Nah it's okay, I just felt "morose" was a little out of place. I think there's something intensely honest about the word sad.

[Hosimone]

What about "dismal"?

[Ethan]

Two syllables

[Carissa England]

Not only does this poem have excellent imagery, but you've also created an amazing sense of calm. Definitely adding this to my library :)

[Tabby Mac]

This piece creates magnificent imagery...it also carries notes of nostalgia. I want to read it over and over! Lonely comes to mind.
Well done!

[Ethan]

Aw thank you so much :)

[Hebe]

Ethan this is so delicate and sensitive you create magic with your words 💫

[Ethan]

Thank you very much

[Maria]

Imagery is so vivid, and the way you described the fields..loved it. Great work as usual.

[Ethan]

Thank you!!

[rowan.taylorrr]

you impress me every single time you write something. this piece took me through so many different images in my head and it all fit together very well

[Ethan]

Thanks so much :)