Darling Fair

Darling fair, with bright and golden hair,

If you were mortal, I would never know.

A perfect, fallen angel you must be.

 

So, you heav’nly cherub; please stay true.

For though you often tell me you are mine,

I tend to forget it a lot of the time.

Reviews

[emipoemi]

If here reviews could be a single word,
My single word for this would then be: WOW!

Well done!!
(For sound purposes, I'd suggest to move "often" to before "tell me" rather than leave it after.....and I was going to say something about the last line being a bit wonky in regards to the musicality, but the way the musicality flows, I can say it kind of works.... veering from the set rhythm to end in style and the bang that is the line!)

[Ethan]

Ah yes, you're right, good idea. And yeah, I was trying to go for something with a couple amphibrachs on the last line. Does it end the line abruptly?

[emipoemi]

not at all. It's reads perfectly. You just need to remember to breathe in between "it" and "a" to really pack the punch of that charm.

[Ethan]

Oh okay, thank you very much :)

[emipoemi]

always with pleasure.

[Priyanshi]

You have got a unique way to portray your poems and i do like it...this one is too good.
keep on writing.

[Ethan]

Thanks :)))

[Kittenincake]

This reminds me of young infatuation. Often becoming obsession, mixed with insecurity. It's perfectly depicted here as sweet and innocent, driven with good intentions of wanting to be loved.

[Ethan]

That's exactly what I was going for. Thanks very much for the review❤️

[MaximumFlight]

I can relate to this in a way in real life.

[Ethan]

I'm happy then :)

[Zoya]

Hah, I guess many people should be able to relate to the last two lines. There was originality as well as reality in this piece. As always, beautifully penned.

[Ethan]

Thanks :))

[Zoya]

You're welcome

[Moonie]

Very sweet rhymes indeed! I enjoyed the beautiful imagery you used! :)

[Ethan]

Thank you very much

[YouoweYoupay]

"A perfect, fallen angel you must be."

If she were perfect, she would not have fallen. I like the contradiction. Your eyes see the falling of a beautiful lover and your heart sees the divine and the infinite.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing.

~Rain.

[Ethan]

Haha that's true, that wasn't really on purpose. I suppose I meant fallen as in literally falling from heaven. Regardless, thank you :)

[Damien Ridge]

Short and sweet. I loved the simple but powerful line: "If you were mortal, I would never know." Takes talent to say a lot with a little. I look forward to reading more of your work, thanks for sharing!

[Ethan]

Thank you :)

[Shasha]

Woh! This is amazing! The way you described was impressive! The concept was great! Well written!!!

[Ethan]

Thank you!

[Shasha]

Not a problem!

[Joey Nizz]

This is such great poem, your words selection in each sentence was great. you have wrote this perfectly, well done :)

[Ethan]

Thanks Joey :P

[Joey Nizz]

Your welcome :p

[Anjali]

All of your poems rhyme so well! I liked it just like your other pieces. It's amazing!

[Ethan]

Thank you Anjali :)

[Anjali]

No problem!