A Lover's Gaze

Would you stay here with me if I did so ask?

Am I certain that I wish to hear you say?

I, for one, can see the devil, lover-masked,

Staring blankly in my eyes this very day.

Reviews

[BThomvanWart]

The beauty of this is that it's short and sweet, but it doesn't need explanation. It tells you details, and the rest is left for your mind to consider. Poetry, to me, has a personal tie that cannot be broken. This piece makes me consider the past. Sure, it could be a reach, but I find the more a piece makes me consider myself - my history - the better the writing. It's a great work, Ethan. Nicely done.

[Ethan]

Thank you very much :)

[Hosimone]

I agree with you, BThomvan. I find that, if I write something that is connected to me, I write a lot better than something that I have never experienced before.

[Najam Us Saher]

This poem has so much in itself. Not a direct approch of what you wanted to say but managed to do that in a nice way. I liked the comparison here. Good job.

[Ethan]

Thank you Najam

[Najam Us Saher]

You are most welcome :)

[Joey Nizz]

Short but very powerful
"I, for one, can see the devil, lover-masked,
Staring blankly in my eyes this very day."

This part gave me the chills, I loved it and loved this piece as a whole.

Thank you for sharing.

[Ethan]

Thanks Joey

[Joey Nizz]

Your welcome buddy

[John Alexander McFadyen]

oh the insincerity that abounds in lack of commitment and the blindness of unrequited love. You certainly like the sonnet type of romance Ethan.

[Ethan]

Yes, I believe it's growing on me :P Thank you

[Luna Eclipse]

Meter is not something I work with. For some strange reason, I can't wrap my head around it lol Nonetheless, that aside, the first two lines of this piece leaves me shaking my head as I think it's something we all have thought or asked at one time or another. The next two lines put a creepy twist on it and I do like that! Much enjoyed this piece.

[Ethan]

It's incredibly rewarding to learn. I'm honing my forms now so that when I return to free verse (my first love), I will be able to write in a more organized fashion. Thanks for your review.

[Luna Eclipse]

You are most welcome. I am a die hard free verse fan myself. Forms although beautiful, I find are very difficult for me. I love metaphors and find free verse allows me much more freedom in my expression and use of them. I wish you much luck honing your skills. I think you have a great start going!

[Ethan]

Thank you :)

[emipoemi]

(cringing noise).....awesome!! Perfect!! Short and eerie and profound!! I'm pretty sure the hyphen is supposed to go in between "devil" and "lover" though.....not "lover" and "masked". Yet all in all, in every aspect of its being, well done!!

[emipoemi]

never mind....I just saw I had read that sentence wrong.

[Ethan]

Oh okay, well thank you very much :)

[Mr.Writer]

Ooh! It's really interesting!!!
The first line hooked me and made me want to read more :)
Keep it up Ethan :)

[Ethan]

Many thanks :)))

[Mr.Writer]

No problem :)