Inconsistent Consistency

Life, I think, is a bit of a paradox.

Floating through this desolate void devoid of context and explanation, (some might suggest value as well, I suppose);

I conclude these idiosyncratic murmurings of bothersome almost-people

Reprimanding my almost-conscience are just a whit of an empty, emaciated, white whale of a civilization proclaiming pseudo-camaraderie and disappointing undertakings as suitable solutions for contentedly concluding one’s existence.

                                      

Though some perceive fraudulence efficiently, soaring quilled shafts of deceit unavoidably puncture intimate electing properties of our conscious.

No barricade can shield humanity from himself.

With living comes a constant quality of inconsistency,

despite the state of existence itself being incredibly monophonic,

permeating my formless breath and solid heart like no other experience.

Well… there is another event I imagine could deliver a pure, unadulterated sensation of intoxicating eternity.

I will wait for him, peacefully, until he arrives on his sweet, milky steed.

O dear old friend, deliver me swiftly unto my end, the true undying void.

Author's Note

Reviews would be greatly appreciated :)
Also, the long words are there on purpose. The point I try to make is that no matter how eloquent or articulate someone is, it is all for naught because everyone passes and death is forever.

Reviews

[emmajoy]

'.. a whit of an empty, emaciated, white whale of a civilization proclaiming pseudo-camaraderie and disappointing undertakings as suitable solutions for contentedly concluding one’s existence.'

Methinks I was lost in the complexity of this poem. Perhaps life's darkness and ultimate death is supposed to bewilder? However, if honest, would slightly chip away a few of the lengthy words so the emotional core of your thoughts were more apparent.

Your skills are undeniably soaring!

[Ethan]

Wow thank you! :)))

[cbastien]

I was going to say that it's quite verbose, but knowing you did that on purpose and knowing your reasoning behind it makes it just that much better! However, there is one thing. Say you weren't allowed to leave author's notes. Would it still be clear to the reader? Just something to think about. Fantastic!

[Maria]

Wow, this is great. And moving. My mom just passed about 3 months ago, in my arms, from cancer, and I still can remember how she looked for me, in her final breath, so I could hold her against my chest... very powerful indeed.

[Ethan]

Im sorry to here that :( Thank you though

[Ethan]

*hear that

[Peyton Light]

Wow. Just wow. This is an amazing writing. The complexity is incredible and every word feels like something the writer felt instead of just something the writer said. This is almost a masterpiece. My only complaint is on line two. It says "desolate void devoid of context..." I feel like it shouldn't say void twice so close together like that. Perhaps if it said "desolate void vacant of context..." of something similar to that then it would be perfect in my opinion. Excellent job regardless :)

[Ethan]

Thank you, I'm not really sure what I was attempting to do there. I'm not sure it even counts as alliteration. It could be phrased better.

[z.chéri]

I love the complexity of your poem! The words are lovely and flow very nice. Good work. I'll definitely continue reading your work! :) - Melody x

[Ethan]

Well, thank you!

[Nolo Segundo]

Your poem shows a very complex brain at work, and a 'word sense' considerable for one of any age, let alone in high school! I must admit my much, much older brain had trouble interpreting the last stanza: death perhaps (?)-- intoxicating eternity, dear old friend, undying void-- or even, God forbid, suicide. ( I learned --the hard way--in my 20's that death was a door and sure as hell there is no escape from self, from your soul. )

[Ethan]

Yes, I was trying to refer to death. However, I wanted to make it seem as though I were waiting, a long time perhaps, for death to come of its own accord.Thank you for your encouragement :)

[Mr.Writer]

All of us are different, and experience different thoughts on life.
The poetry is excellent and talks about confronting the world no matter how the person is and I love that!
Keep it up

[Ethan]

Thank you very much

[Mr.Writer]

No problem :)

[rowan.taylorrr]

the meaning behind this can be taken so many different ways. it's a very deep poem and i love the straight forward view of it.

[Ethan]

Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it

[Raven Moonchild]

Whoa,the depth of this poem is mind boggling. :O Excellent imagination you have here. :)

[Ethan]

Thank you! That's very kind :)

[Raven Moonchild]

Seriously,I can see you being paid handsomely for poetry like this. :) This looks like a professional wrote it.

[Ethan]

Well thank you, you're really sweet. Though I doubt many publishers would take a high school student very seriously :/

[Raven Moonchild]

You'd be surprised. lol Have you ever tried? I know of a couple of publishing sites that take poetry from anyone of any age. :)

[Ethan]

No I haven't. Could you send me some links?

[Raven Moonchild]

www.poetrynation.com

www.eberandwein.com

I've had eberandwein publishing my work for years. They have a poetry contest too!!! :D

[CMC]

We exist, but we don't exactly co-exist. We live, and it becomes a monotone. We wait for something that can give us our undying eternity, but the wishful thinking is a void that we can't fill. Well-penned, and thanks for sharing.

[Ethan]

Exactly, thank you.

[CMC]

I'm on a roll today, and you're welcome.