Something I Can Never Have

I just want something I can never have...

Her picture stares at him from his bedside table. Cool, forever unblinking blue eyes lock on him. He turns his head. He keeps forgetting to rid himself of that picture. He doesn't have the right to look at her anymore. He doesn't need the memories, the recurring nightmares. 

Her words echo in his ears as he picks up the picture frame. I don't need you. I don't love you. I don't want you. He cringes and shakes his head. No. No, he doesn't want to remember that! Eyes close. Teeth clench. Ears ring. 

He thinks of happier times. Times when everything was good. Times when his world wasn't crashing around him. The pain starts to fade. He opens his eyes. Blue ones meet his again. He feels relieved. He is down to just one thing. The picture. He is scared. What happens when the picture fails to help? What does he do? 

No. No, he will not worry himself with that thought. The picture will do just fine. He looks down at the photograph. Eyes trace familiar sights. A smile. Brown hair. Ocean eyes. He grins. She always was beautiful. 

Suddenly, his heart is painted with anger, hatred, guilt. She didn't want him anymore. She didn't need him. She had moved on and left him in a pool of emotions and thoughts. Left him with a grey heart. 

Tears. Salty water hits the glass in his hand. Deep breath. Thumbs smudge the liquid, caressing the face of what was once his world. He looks up. Grey walls. Black carpet. Dirty mattress. Stained curtains. It seems different. He doesn't know how. He doesn't know why. Yet, it is the same sight he has known for years. Something has changed. It seems...empty.

He sighs. Closes his eyes. Her face seems as though it is burned on the back of his eyelids. He squeezes them shut tighter. Her image will not leave. Eyes fly open. Brown hair and blue eyes are projected on every wall. Breath comes quicker. Movements more rapid. He screams. She has invaded his thoughts, invaded his room, invaded his world. 

He throws the frame to the ground. Glass breaks. He trembles. Whimpers. Calms himself. He leans down and grabs the picture. Broken glass digs into his skin. Blood pools, crimson liquid blends with black carpet. The picture is ruined. He panics. No picture?

Tears in the photo paper remind him of himself. Remind him of the torn heart she left him with. He stands. The photograph is of no use to him. The broken frame falls into the trash can, followed by her face. He doesn't want to see it anymore. It is just a fading reminder of who he used to be. 

He slides onto the dirty mattress. Eyes close again. He loses himself in deep slumber. He doesn't dream of her. He doesn't think of her. He just wants something he can never have.

Author's Note

Crappy.

Reviews

[bba]

I like the way this guy contradicts himself. Some may say a man doesn't think this way but I actually have a friend that have this similar story. XD

This is good! You captured the emotion of an obsessive man perfectly.

And I like Nine Inch Nails and their song Something I Can Never Have! XD