Suddenly, Kisses for Everyone!

A Poem by Mollie

Please fall in love with me, I feel the need to cause pain.

Searching all of my history books for your name, and finding zilch. Nothing but wrinkled hands and brown eyes that should be younger than that. Younger than this. Brown eyes drowning at the bottom of a lake, wearing the clothes we found in the attic. Oh, Brown Eyes, you little thief, you!

I always thought

you

were

so f*****g cute with that bottle of pills. Your chocolate eyes all red and sleepy; “I took too much.” You look so thin sometimes, I want you to kill me. I like that kind of obsession, the kind that hurts, because you like some brown eyed boy so much. He is just so beautiful when he's drowning, that you

know you are

going to kiss him one day.

II.

Panic and panic and whiskey licking puppy dogs. Are you going to kill me? I don’t think so. You were beautiful so I dreamed of putting my hands in that curly hair and I dreamed of falling to pieces the moment you yell, “Hey, help me! Are you just going to watch me go through this?” Grabbing you by the hair, and yanking you back up, hoping there isn’t too much water in your lungs, hoping your eyes don't burn, but pouring salt in those muddy little orbs, anyway.

III.

Please fall in love with me, I feel the need to cause pain.

I’m falling to pieces the moment I get a taste of something so sweet. And I am on the ground bleeding, and you are on top of me, running out of pills to take, running out of songs to sing. Finding out

what we really are; we aren’t diamonds, just little balls of fire, running on empty down the same highway we fell in love on, the same over pass I spotted you in the water.

This is getting

old: kissing thirty-seven thousand people in a lifetime, I don’t know, your pills taste like something that might save my life. Will you kill me?