Paranoid

I'm pretty sure I'm not ACTUALLY crazy ... but who knows...

just because I'm paranoid
doesn't mean someone's not following me
i know you are there.
you're always there,
and you know all my fears.
yes...
yes, he keeps them in a book
in his pocket
so he won't forget
but i could never forget.
like the darkest of dark
where i can not sleep
like the silence so loud
that it hurts my ears
and my head aches
a deep ache.
like you.
you hide in the shadows
and you do not speak
but i know you are there.
damn you.
you're always there.
ALWAYS F*****G THERE
you can read my thoughts
i can feel you in my head
tell me,
what am i thinking?
i wish you would tell me
but no
...no
no of course not
i must have forgotten
you don't speak
but i do
so F**K YOU
i know you're there
even though you slither in the shadows
and i can hear you
even though you do not speak.
you are laughing at me.
you thrive on my pain.
you feast on my tears.
i know you're there
just because i'm paranoid
doesn't mean you aren't there.
you're always there.
but your list is incomplete
my friend
my fears are numbered
minus one
i fear you.
that one day you might be gone.
or that you aren't really there.
i fear that i AM just paranoid
I fear that i am counting
on nothing more
than a mere rustle in the trees
as i walk home alone.
alone. yes.
Alone. A Loner.
Alone. I lone.
I am alone.
That's the one you're missing
my friend
all i really fear
is that
i am
ALONE.

Author's Note

i can never decide how i feel about this one...

Reviews

[Harmonica winds]

such a powerful well written write, I can feel this write it's so emotional

[xXxCynicalWarsxXx]

Forever in this ocean of paranoia and forever feeling the fingers tip up my spine. This reminded me of the past few months I've managed to get through without completely losing it. It's a shame to feel this way, but it is who makes us our beings. When the paranoia comes, think long and hard of the logics, but if you let it drive you into a hole, you will see the darkness, the face that drives you to the point of insanity. Trust me. I've done it before. This piece was intense and very relational. The time I've taken to read this will not go in vain. Once more 10/10.