The traveling trobadour

Always on the road with nothing but a lyre

In a far away land full of joy and marvel,

 lived a young lad that liked to travel.

All that he carried was a lyre,

With it he sang inner desire

He traveled far both north and south.

 He had to sing to fill his mouth.

Where he went, his music followed,

He changed town every new morrow.

  

He never knew no home,

Was always all alone.

 

But he lived well and ever hopeful.

 Life to him was charming and joyful.

  Time passed swift and the lad ceased to be.

 He was now a man, strong, happy, free.

Between his journeys, he found a maid.

 The girl was gentle, and kind and fair,

And so he sought to get to know her.

 After some moons they became lovers.

The love they had grew bigger, stronger,

 So he finally traveled no longer.

He stayed there, at that little town,

 There, he finally settled down.

Author's Note

Critics are more than welcome. I really want to improve.
Thanks in advance for all your comments!

Reviews

[Nusquam Esse]

My advice is looking for words that can be removed without distorting your meaning. Poetry doesn't need to be precise, if it helps the words carry more impact. Removing passive words such as (and, then, that), can help your dynamic words stand out. However, in your case, you have rhyming couplets, so the best way to make the poem flow right is to use meter. A consistent number of syllables between lines can help a lot. A common meter for this style is iambic pentameter, which will use 10 syllables on each line., but consistency between rhyming lines is more important than the specific number. There are many free tools online that can help you calculate the syllables in a line, which you can tweak by looking for unneeded words, or for synonyms which have different syllable counts. If you get your syllables between lines closer, it will make the poem gain a rhythm, where the rhymes will feel natural.

[Esteban Morfín]

Thank you so very much for your wonderful review. I'm reading it just now. It's incredibly helpful. I'll try and improve the poem. Thanks a lot!

[light and ashes]

I love this little story! It tickles my traveling bone. I have often wondered if I could be happy living such a life as this trobadour. I was satisfied with the ending though. Overall, I enjoyed reading this very much.

[Esteban Morfín]

Glad you liked it! Thanks for reading!

[light and ashes]

You're very welcome!

[Lacey Sue]

This reminds me of the George Strait song Troubadour

[Esteban Morfín]

I shall check it out! Thanks a lot

[Dave Brown]

everyone needs someone
too many succumbing to divorce
hope they can stay happily together

[Esteban Morfín]

I hope so too. I also hope you are not talking of experience, and if you are, I'm truly sorry. Thanks for reading and for your comment!

[Dave Brown]

One son has gone through it
It too often seems like the popular thing to do
Stay safe

[Esteban Morfín]

Yes, it's a sad truth. I'm sorry to hear that. Thanks and stay safe as well!

[Moonie]

This sounded like a medieval song, kind of reminded me of "Toss a coin to your witcher" lol :')) It sounds lovely!

[Anna Parker]

This was very heartwarming!

Anna Parker, Writer/Networker at CrowdStoryz .com

[Brian Shepard]

It should be a song. Do you play an instrument or sing? It would make a lovely ballad, perhaps add a refrain with a different rythem. Very nicely done sir.

[Esteban Morfín]

Thanks a lot! I do play an instrument and sing. I haven't thought about making this into a song. It's an interesting idea. If something good comes out I'll let you know.

[Papaya]

Whenever I hear of a boy with a lyre I think of Kvothe, from the name of the wind.
Loved your poem, so full of charm.

[Esteban Morfín]

thank you very much! I don't know anything about the name of the wind. Should I read it?

[Papaya]

you might like it, you seem to like the fantasy genre?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Name_of_the_Wind

[Esteban Morfín]

I love fantasy! I'm going to check them out. Thanks a lot!

[Papaya]

There are three books in the series and one side story.
I loved it. The first book is not very big but the next two are longer.