My Saving Grace

It was time for his last journey, but he didn't want to take it alone.

The crisp white of the paper stood out upon the dark mahogany desk; the only light coming from a small desk lamp, shining right unto the paper. Shadows rested upon the rest of the furniture, darkness shrouding everything. 

It was not that they did not matter. It was not that the light disliked them. It was not that they were unworthy of the light. No.

That blank sheet, it didn’t ask for the attention, didn't ask to be placed upon the desk under the intensity of the light. The paper didn't want to be under the light. A right corner raised up as a breeze wafted from the slight creak on the window; however, the sheet remained upon the desk, waiting….but what was it waiting for?

~

Dear Lucinda,

How are you? I sure hope you are doing well, the last time we talked you told me you were going on a journey. I feel bad that I have not talked to you since then. I hope you can forgive me, but I did not forget you. I never could.

I bet you have forgiven me already, and next time we see each other, it will be like old times, won’t it? Because we will see each other, won’t we? 

I dream of your smile still, of your laughter. Sometimes, I feel like I can hear you, but that does not make sense, because you are so far away. 

People ask me about you, you know? As if I knew where you were, as if I wasn’t happy for you. Isn’t that funny Lucinda? Why wouldn’t I be happy about your traveling? About your happiness? 

I….I think I might be taking a journey as well…perhaps, a similar journey to yours. Was your journey pleasant? Could you tell me and guide me on mine? I don’t think I can do this…..not alone.

You’ve been gone for so long now.  Things here have changed. I married you know? I do love my wife, but I always loved you, even when you left me, all broken inside. I still love you, and I love her and my children….I’m sure my family would have loved you….but maybe, had you not left me, I wouldn’t have such a wonderful family? 

Forgive me Lucinda, but I’m glad that you left on your journey, because I really do love my family and I cannot imagine life without them. They would have to deal with a life without me…..am I being selfish? Is this how you felt when you left Lucinda? Do you forgive my anger towards you? 
Now….now I think I am ready for this journey….could you please come? Help me set me off on this journey? 

I am not sure if you will receive this letter before I go on my journey, but I hope you do.

I hope to see you soon.

One who has always loved you,
Gilberto

~

“Dad?” a man of late thirties peaked into the darken room, squinting as his eyes tried to adjust to the darkness. 
“Dad?” He called out again, walking into the room and making his way over to the other side of the room, not really paying attention to the desk. His father had told him that he was going to go lay down, that he was tired. 
“Dad?” he tried again, voice quivering as he finally reached the bed, where he could see the form of his father. 
His father laid there, motionless, eyes closed, mouth upturn into a soft smile. His face was relaxed unlike the painful wrinkles that usually assaulted his father when he was awake. The son knew the moment he had opened the door, that something had been wrong. Now, as he stared at the stilled body of his father, he wasn’t sure how to feel or what to do. 
“Dad?” he whispered, reaching over with shaky hands, placing them on the stilled body’s shoulders. There was no movement and no sound, not anymore. 

Finally, it was as if the dam broke and the son began screaming and calling out. There was a whirling of sounds and people and emotions. 

The forgotten paper slipped off the desk, the dark writing seeming to be alive upon the pale sheet. It had served its purpose….light now shone upon the whole room. 

The family of Gilbert moved all around, crying, shouting, tears streaming. The paper was mangled, the ink smudging as it was picked up and thrown away. 

~
The paper was gently picked up from its crumpled place far off in the corner. It was soothed into  clean sheet of paper once again, before being place back on the desk. 

“Lucinda?” 
“I received your letter, Gil.” 
“I missed you.”
“We have the rest of this journey still.”

The paper just laid there, feeling warm as the light enveloped him.

“Will my family….?”
“They won’t be alone.”
“I’m scared.”
“I know.”

Suddenly, the light was gone but the warmth feeling remained. The desk lamp was turned off and suddenly the whole room was engulfed in darkness……

“I love you….”
“I do too…….”