The Tunnel's Password

This is a dream I had that shows how destructive loneliness really is. It also demonstrates how it feels to be a slave to any kind of addiction and recovery process. It's my metaphorical testimony.

For my beautiful Sharptown sisters.

The Tunnel's Password

-

I am in the dark Tunnel.

There is nothing around me.

I am lost.

I am trapped.

I can feel the pain, though.

I am running.

I am running from something Bad.

The Bad causes my pain.

The thing is so Bad I cannot think.

All I know is to run.

I do not want to remember what it is,

But it is chasing me.

I am tired.

No- I am exhausted.

The Bad is chasing me.

The Bad is trying to hurt me.

It is closing in on me.

I can feel it breathing down my neck.

I can smell the stench of evil.

It is very Bad.

-

The Tunnel is never ending.

I am struggling.

The Bad makes me trip.

I force myself up.

I wheeze out of breath.

I start running again.

-

I had a Friend once.

He ran with me.

Away from the Bad.

It was easier with Him.

When I fell, He picked me up.

Then we ran again together.

He even carried me a few times.

He was just as tired as me.

But He helped me.

He showed me that the Tunnel is a circle.

It goes around and around.

An endless cycle.

We ran together.

-

He showed me a Door in the Tunnel.

It is a small Door.

It is a way out of the Tunnel.

He said I would need a Password.

He said it was a simple Password.

It was easy to remember.

He told me the Password.

The Password stuck in my brain.

-

There is a cramp in my side.

My throat is dry.

I have bruises on my back.

I have cuts on my knees.

My muscles ache.

I have to keep running.

I have been running all my life.

The Password echoes in my mind.

My Friend would have urged me on.

I run again.

-

We passed the Door again.

We never go in.

The Bad tried to block us from the Door.

We never tried to pass the Bad because I am too scared to try.

My Friend told me He would help.

I do not think He is strong enough.

We ran.

We passed the Door again.

-

My Friend said it was a good Door.

He said a lot about the Door.

He said They sent Him through there.

He said that the Tunnel is a lie.

He said the Door stops the Bad and the lies.

He said I just had to say the word.

The Password.

We passed the Door again.

-

I asked who They who sent my Friend were.

He said They were His family.

He said They were Good.

He said They can stop the Bad.

I asked Him why They did not help me.

He said They sent Him to help.

I told Him that He was not Them,

He could not help.

But He said He was.

I reminded Him that He did not stop the Bad.

He said He did not come to stop it.

He said He could not stop it now.

He had to stop it later when it was time and when They told Him to.

I was angry with Him.

I told Him that He should stop talking now.

We ran around the Tunnel in silence.

-

I asked how He was here.

He said He came through the Door.

I asked Him why He was here.

He said that I needed Him.

I told Him that I did not need anybody.

I told Him I could run the Tunnel myself.

I told Him to leave.

I do not see Him now.

-

The Bad trips me again.

He is not here to pick me up.

I see the Bad.

It scrapes me.

It pulls me.

It hurts me.

I get up.

I start to run.

I run alone now.

-

Every now and then I think He is here.

I fall and the Bad should have gotten me.

But it never does.

I think He stops the Bad.

I know I cannot survive long on my own.

But then

I do not see Him.

The Bad reminds me of this all of the time.

I listen.

My Friend cannot be here.

-

I am angry with Them.

They do not help me.

They do not stop the Bad.

They ignore me.

The Bad hits me from behind.

I cannot breathe.

It hurts.

I keep running.

I must keep running.

-

I pass the Door.

I do not trust the Door.

Why?

Because my Friend left me so I do not trust Him.

He told me about Them.

They do not help me so I do not trust Them.

They are both behind the Door.

I cannot trust the Door.

My feet ache.

I run and I run.

-

Other people have come.

One was too bright to look at.

One was just a thought.

Many have come that had wings.

My Friend came again too.

They all came through the Door.

I ignored them all.

I could not trust Them.

The Bad agreed with me.

-

The Bad is close.

Closer than ever before.

I cannot slow down.

It is right at my heels.

I stumble.

I cannot get up.

The Bad is above me.

I see the Door.

I try to stand.

The Bad is pressing down on me.

It will not let me up.

If only I could get to the Door.

Even They had to be better than the Bad.

I writhe towards the Door.

-

I push the Door.

It does not open.

The Bad gets closer.

I pull the Door.

It does not open.

By now, the Bad is clawing my back.

I knock on the Door.

There is no answer.

I knew I could not trust the Door.

-

The Bad drags me down.

I am on the ground.

I am bloody and beaten.

I am hurt.

I feel dead.

The Door is next to me.

The Bad begins their final attack.

I am being ripped apart.

I am being pushed and pulled.

I am being punched and smacked.

I am being thrown around.

I am being tortured.

-

I hear a Voice in my mind.

It sounds like my Friend's voice.

It tells me something.

It tells me one word.

It says Password.

The voice meant for me to say the Password.

I reach for the Door.

-

My Friend told me about the Password.

First He asked if I thought He was real.

I said yes.

Then He asked if I knew He loved me.

I said yes then too.

Then He asked if I trusted Him.

I said yes a third time.

He told me I had to remember.

He said to remember even if I was angry with Him.

I had to remember that He loved me.

He told me the Password.

The Password was a name.

It was His name.

-

I heard the Voice tell me to say it.

To say the Password.

I reach for the Door.

I shout the Password.

-

My Friend flies from behind the Door.

He jumps over me and into the Bad.

The Bad fights Him.

My Friend lets Himself lose.

I can clearly see now He can win.

But He lets Himself lose.

The Bad takes Him.

It is dark.

They wait behind the Door.

They let the Bad take my Friend.

I am sad.

It is dark.

I sit by the Door.

I do not have to run anymore.

But I am not relieved.

-

I sit next to the door.

There is silence.

-

Light floods my eyes.

The darkness in the Tunnel has vanished.

The Bad tries to hide but it cannot.

The Bad has no place to turn away 

There is no escape.

My Friend is there with Them.

My Friend came back.

They defeat the Bad together.

I help in their army.

My Friend tells me He loves me.

I tell Him I am sorry and that I love Him.

He accepts my apology.

He forgives me.

He is a Good Friend.

-

Everyone lets me through the Door.

My Friend's Father says He loves me.

My Friend's Spirit says He loves me.

The Angles say they love me.

We all praise and sing for Them.

-

I do not have to run in my Tunnel.

My Tunnel is gone forever.

I go to other Tunnels now.

I tell others about my Friend.

I tell them what He did for me.

I tell them that He can stop the Bad.

I tell them the Password.

They join me.

-

The Password is JESUS.