Don't Ask

What does it take to be loveable enough?

Don't Ask

by Erin L George

 

Don't ask me to smile (I've never been one to fake it).

You take me to heights, to watch me fall.

I'll be your w***e, heart inside out -

begging for more.

 

But

don't ask me to love (or let it show through)

while you think of her, searching for proof

that you're loveable...

When

I'm here, telling you!

 

Don't ask me to give (I can't do this alone).

Make promises, meaning nothing at all.

I'll be your friend, dreams tossed on the floor -

ever the one to answer your call.

 

But

don't ask me to trust (I've been hurt before)

while you cry for her, in my arms

your lustable w***e...

When

I'm here, begging you!

I'll smile ear to ear

and land hard on my a*s

(that's what unconditional is)

never to sass.

 

But

I'll be crying inside (and wondering)

while you morn for her, frozen tears

oblvious of my fears...

When

is fair, fair?

I'll stand by you

bleeding back pain

(that's what best friends do)

never to gain.

 

But

I'll be dying inside (Do you care?)

while you take your time,

unaware of my love, blind...

When

will you open your eyes?

 

Reviews

[The Analog Kid]

My only criticism: I agree with Dane on the repitition.

Such powerful words. The narrator uses "w***e" to show how she "put out" in hopes of clinching the user. Sad. This speaks to most of us that have felt used. Often, what you need is right is front of your eyes. For some reason, humans are drawn into these stupid situations time and time again. Very enjoyable read.

Patrick

[al25]

Great poem. I love your wording.

[Shalini Dinesh]

A poem with much sadness and deep feelings, but using the word w***e her and there was slightly uncomfortable to read, but still it didn't spoil the flow nor the feel of the poem, tough i could be avoided, otherwise the poem is excellent and a common thing happening in most places of the world... maybe one day sooner or later he will open not only his eyes but even his heart to you....

[MattWheatus]

Great poem, and your last stanza is particularly strong and poignant closing the piece wonderfully ("I'll be dying inside (do you care?)". Sadly, I would guess this situation is all too common, where one person puts more into a relationship without the other even knowing. Well done on this piece.

[Subjective Sanity]

I found this too be funny, heart-breaking and ballsy all at the same time. Another favorite. Keep it up. You've got rare talent. : )

[TL Boehm]

"But
don't ask me to love (or let it show through)
while you think of her, searching for proof
that you're loveable...
When
I'm here, telling you!"


I found this personally to be the strongest statement in the poem - although the whole thing is poignant, relatable, heartfelt. Well done.

[Simple_mee]

Its a beauty....! Heart-breaking Emotions perfectly penned down!

[An owl on the moon]

Such a vivid, powerful, emotional write... feels almost like a song. You communicate the pain, turmoil of loving someone who is at a distance to your affections. Sharp and gripping!

[Crazy Cat Man]

the betrayal of love....can cause us to go paranoid and question ourselves. At the end we should be proud of not losing our integrity. a bad relationship teaches us to be stronger and patient.... :) great piece

[*~Poetic_Essence~*]

I like this a lot..it is full of raw emotions, and it seems to be very honest...I think you let us (the readers) see a very vivid picture that you paint with your words, I really enjoyed this piece,I think a lot of us can relate, I know i personally can; if I change a few words it would be written for my ex, whom I am still friends with but have feelings for...I really enjoyed the read, I hope to read some more of your work soon....

Well From One Word-Play Poet To The Next...Always Remember To Write With Your Heart!

[DBURKE]

This is a powerful poem full of emotions_ great read thanks for sharing!