the prize

the prize

 

 

 

the envious moth

saw me attached 

to the light 

of your eyes

 

i flittered about your gaze

touching you slightly

while his wings

heavy with envy

 

turned to ashen tears

craving humanness

 

 

erin-cilberto

4/1/25 

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[Kelly Scheppers]

I think my heart just broke. Such a beautiful rendering, J. So, so beautiful.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for your kind comment, Kelly,
j.

[John the Baptist]

Indeed, love provides a light attractive to all. Alas for the poor bug, who can only know instinct.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Indeed, that poor bug. Sometimes instinct isn't so instinctive and gets us in trouble.
j.

[Thomas W Case]

Tremendous writing and metaphor. You bring it to life.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for that, Thomas,
j.

[Dessi]

THIS is the one I was first headed to read.
Oh my gosh, I have felt this way.
The way you address it, "the moth saw me attached to the light of your eyes"
That is so unique! I've never read that anywhere! I love it!
It turns sensual a tiny bit, which I love, as you flitter about the gaze touching slightly..oh that is sexy.
I love the way it ends although sad for the moth, it served it right.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Poor moth...thank you for your kind words, Dessi,
j.

[Desert Knave]

Excellent wordplay (though the word flittered is almost hard to make out with the type that small). I've been a moth far more than the envied one myself. ~Jim

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Moths are good, except for clothes in closets...
j.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

my type wasn't that small...something is happening on the site again with the printing being so small.

[Arundass TP]

Beautiful poem. Loved it. The last two lines are great

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for the kind words.