a Father on the Lake

a Father on the Lake

 

 

I was with you

just days before

you were no longer there

 

before your eyes stared off

in some startled direction

that mistook you

for a memory

 

we spoke of sons of fathers

who once existed

in a fishing boat

smoking cigarettes

and chatting about life,

my short one

and yours lengthening 

from years of experience

in terms I could understand

 

we laughed into the bond we cast

then suddenly you had a strike

the pole bent fervently

 

and you remembered me

one last time.

 

 

erin-cilberto

2/12/25

Reviews

[Soren]

I too fished with my father and they were the best times he had to offer. Loved the metaphor where a strike so closely resembles stroke and the last two lines are most heart felt and gut wrenching. Anyone who remembers their father would find this touching.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for your very kind review, Soren,
j.

[Chris Shaw]

Precious time spent with your father, remembering shared times, just before you lost him for good. I feel the ravages of dementia here. So very difficult to deal with j. Beautifully penned.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for your kind words, Chris,
j.

[Desert Knave]

I watched my grandmother "leave" over a period of time and that feeling will never leave me. Well written. ~Jim

[jacob erin-cilberto]

And the longer it takes, the harder it is.
thank you, Jim
j.

[schlanks]

Emotional complexity expressed with such ease...I had a similar experience with my nana, and i feel like i could read this at different times and feel very different emotions. You write whole scenes in poetic form and let them speak for themselves, and it's such a powerful approach.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for your very kind review, schlanks,
j.

[K. Louis]

The way this explores the idea of memories and connections with others even after they're gone is really powerful and emotional. The imagery is vivid, especially the fishing boat scene.It's nostalgic and introspective and I really enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for your kind words, K.
j.