Completion of the Deed

Completion of the Deed

i don't have much faith in apples

or so-called wisdom

philosophers are like priests

gone wrong

professing faith

in critical thinking

all the time making up

distorted proverbs to live by

and die by

while that worm

eats the core of the apple

munches down all the sane

thoughts 

as we bite down on life

Chew on the red skin

or green skin

apples aren't racist

just fascist 

when the tree is shaken

and the smart folks

gather in the garden

to strike their teeth on truth

but remain silent

and let the serpents run wild

as fear makes up our minds

to evacuate eden

in retreat.

erin-cilberto

1/10/25

Reviews

[Laz K.]

with this one the academic approach of analysis is very fitting, i think: "do not debate the writer's claims, just analyze what is said, and how it is said." wisdom, myths, -isms can all be questioned, accepted or rejected based on personal preference, education, upbringing, etc. all we can say is that "the speaker in this poem holds this or that belief."

the imagery is rich, the allusions raise lots of questions, the tone is bitter and frustrated.

now, i have typed several sentences, and really said nothing. maybe you're right about wisdom and critical thinking. :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

More wisdom than you give yourself credit for, much more.
Thank you, Laz

[Lorry]

What's not to like here Jacob?
Making up distorted proverbs to live and die by and non racist fascist apples? Personally I never trusted pomegranates. Way too intricate and show-offy!
I lost faith in the church when I realised adults only pretend to understand all those nonsensical quotes too, as they couldn't answer my questions... but not as much as the faith I lost when I saw them add a lightning rod to our church! Why? We're they worried He (or She) would smite them for their sins?

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for your words and relating, Lorry,
j.

[MCS]

Engaging read my friend.

I try to live a simple life and daily I’m aware that I’m dying / memento mori however that isn’t a depressing thought at all. It sharpens my focus. Its quality rather than quantity that matters to me and if I’ve lived well than my life will be long enough.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Yes, quality rather than quantity...thank you for your words, Mary,
j.

[redzone]

Camelot and Eden (the apple) are myths, and people always have choices when it comes to worms and serpents. Evacuation is of course one choice. But how far can you evacuate or be silent before these worms and serpents find you again?? Of course, another 'choice' would be to join them, become one of them, and struggle against everyone else to get a piece of the core or the meat. For many reasons, the only real choice is to destroy the worms and serpents and the foundation from which they came.

But there is a deeper philosophical question here, I think. The idea/ideal of the apple itself, as though there was once an eden or a camelot that these worms and serpents have destroyed. It is the continued allegiance to this idea and these ideals that hold humanity back from actually being able to enjoy the 'fruits' of our labors.

Good poetry and poems like this one, are art, philosophy, social and politial questions fused into artistic expression allowing us to think. And Jacob, you are a master of doing this. Thank you!
-Curt

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I really appreciate how you see so much in my work...I often doubt there is anything in there at all.
j.

[Pete]

good food for thought - pun intended. at least we get to toss the core. no use in listening to physicians who can't even heal themselves.

“When you knock, ask to see God – none of the servants.” - Thoreau

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for your words and the smile, Re-Pete,
j.

[Dylan Macadham]

... the knowledge that we must die ... 'the worm at the core' of the human condition." -William James.
An impressive write, Jacob, thanks :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Dylan,
j.

[ZKM_2010]

this is so godd like amazing i don't even care what anyone thinks absolutely fire I want to make poms like this but I cant bcuz I am not as talented I cant even write proper stories and I don't even know how to get my writing seen. if only smn could give feedback or something then I could've ben able to improve but I don't even know how it happens and I cant get proper ideas I just love playing with my cast and my cat jumps on my keyboard some oeih erre er ree rer r fds df df sdf fiwsbf h hweuif huf wiuh uh fihf iurehfuerfuer fuierf heriuf iu UI wuifheriuf heru heuif heruf heruifh eriowgpq3gfi er iwoeifefg erg er ger grege rg erg er ger ger ger g ergjw eglwerhkgberjhgberbjg er ger gierb gier g h9hfwehguirweh uirwhg uirwehg iuerwghuiweg rhwrhiu ghbwreiu I UI r erwg rehgiweurhguiwerhguiwerhguiwerhgiuwqehrgilrhge9348ru8934ur4o8urt9384rtu08934utf8itfu9fghy4u35gnh45gb g 4 34g 5g54hgp3458ygp4358gh4p953gh239ph353hp795gh45g7845gh3785g4h45g378h45g745gh745g745gh7h5g4h7g45kjjkjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjlhwrgiuh345g89y34h57g 345g7y7gy75y297yg97yg79yg9y4g927yg972597gy5493ugjhjhjhjdhdgo9iw3ghjniuqtg whgriuhweuilghe2iuyhuieh rughwiughiuwerhgiuerhguikjewrahfg09324yghtfnc0 eow4i8duyhft949w3e4r5iku8o9hywi4r5u8ko9hy8ikw9oer34w3e4ruik8o98ikyuhno9er348ikyuhn9er34w4r8ik3ehnuy4or8ik9ehnuy4iryhnuko89ew4r3e8ikyohnu9er44r8ikuhnoy9de8ik4rhjnou9dew4r8ikelo9u9oyhneikr348wu9oeh4rikny8uo4ryhikneuyhikr4wu9oyh8ikr4e3u8ik94re3uykhn8i9r43ew8ikyjhnou9r4e3yhukj8ir49eyihnuj8kr4ew3yhnuj8ik9r4oyhn9uijk8reyhn8ikju9r4e3wyhn4irujko8ew3y9hn8ikjur4wyhnuj8iko9re3wyihnuj8ko938ikuj4r9w3ikyjhnu3yhnjur4yhnru49ikyhuer4wyhn8ikjur4yhn8ikuryhn8ikjour8ikyhnjuro9yhnujik9ik4ryhjnuo958ikrhyjnu9y9hnikjuyihnujkoyohnujikyhnu9yhnuji9ik9uyhni9uyhnhnuu9oyhniuoynhiuyhnio9uoyhn9uohinuyhn9ouyhn9yhu9234ryo87tyr837o2tr82437tyr843y5t8r43278y3784

[jacob erin-cilberto]

your cat seems pretty talented....thank you for your kind words, ZKM

[Soren]

Choices Jacob, the tree of life in its eternal ignorance or knowledge and death. In the end knowledge is just to find that there is no truth and we remain in ignorance regardless. A cruel cosmic joke that there never was a choice. God or nature is laughing and the serpent still bites our heel. Achillies found out the hard way. A deep philisophical poem that chides man's arrogance and predicts the outcome of technology and pseudo wisdom. Nicely written with a great metaphor and great flow culminating in the punch line that is powerful and pertinent to today's world. Very nicely done

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for your insightful and kind review, Soren,
j.