Journey

Journey

I am like a wagon

with three wheels 

pointing to the light

and one less round

crookedly, cowardly

riding on a rim of darkness

in the early morning

on a broken keyboard

in expensive adherence

traveling a circle

of lonely

afraid to change

letting my heart's axle

run aground.

I sleep within myself

rather than

join the train

where the others

await me.

erin-cilberto

12/16/24

Reviews

[Ern M. Yoshimoto]

i felt this. especially the line 'traveling a circle of lonely.'
a friend once asked me, what's it like in that mind of yours. i answered: wonderful... but it can get lonely.
i do see solitude as more of a gift than a curse, but i know that it is not perfect either. there is still some longing to connect, to be with someone, physically in their proximity, and spiritually joined.
but unfortunately, few people get me. and so rather than endure their company i sleep within myself too.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Always some longing even if we won't admit it.
Thank you, Ern.
j.

[Chris Shaw]

traveling a circle
of lonely
afraid to change

three wheels pointing to the light

As long as the direction of travel is in the light, I can’t see a problem. It’s whatever someone is comfortable with. Why consider changes unless there is unhappiness and a real desire for change. Your words j made me think of my widowed sister. I can guarantee she won’t find anyone else. She enjoys her own company, doing her own thing. Being content is everything. Strong write j.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for your kind and insightful review, Chris,
j.

[Brandy]

' I am like a wagon with three wheels. '
( imperfect, yet, able to be a light )

And that's how it should be. Striving to live the best you can. Doing the best you can.

Yes, there will be challenges and fears to face, but keeping a positive outlook certainly helps.
Your thoughts hold meaning and depth.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for your kind review, Brandy,
j.

[Kanwal]

Powerful write. there is a lot of deep emotion of struggle in this poem. After reading your poems some question came in my mind why it is very difficult to overcome yours fear it? why it is necessary to socialize when you are happy in your company? These are the introvert people used to asked in daily life.
Thank You for sharing your thoughts.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I really appreciate your insightful questions raised on reading this piece...thank you, Kanwal,
read moreI really appreciate your insightful questions raised on reading this piece...thank you, Kanwal,
j.

[Coyote Poetry]

Yes Jacob. All of us carry extra weight. We do not need. Can weight us down. I felt the thoughts and the struggle in the words. Thank you my friend for sharing the amazing poetry and your thoughts.
Coyote

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for your kind words, Coyote...

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome Jacob.

[John the Baptist]

I think many people have a dark space within them which negatively affects their view of life. It cuts them off from fully interacting with others. This dark space is based on deeply seated, usually erroneous conclusions.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Yes, erroneous conclusions....
thanks, John,
j.

[Patricia Wedel]

dearJacob... I am a Scooter on a Moonbeam... on Christmas Eve,,,
I will show you the way. softly, Pat

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you, Pat,
j.

[Thomas W Case]

Powerful work. This is a strong piece.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you, Thomas,
j.

[redzone]

Hi Jacob, I think it depends on the train. Some trains will just let you sit with a broken wheel, while you hope for some salvation. But there is a train that has as its morality making sure your wagon is in good shape so that you can decide which direction you need to go. That's a train worth joining in my opinion and one where it will lead everyone to witness that sunset and sunrise, not just a few believers.

An aside: do you remember watching that TV show, "Wagon Train"? It starred Ward Bond I think.
-Curt

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Yes, and Robert Fuller....Yes, I watched it. "Wagons HO!"
thank you for your insights on the poem.

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

It’s ok to camp and fly solo and seek your own company the sunrises sunsets still there just as beautiful
The wheel has fallen off my wagon too so many times not sure if I’ve ever replaced it yet.

Loved this write ✍️

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Maybe we should call the same mechanic to come and fix the wheels.
j.