a cursive shining

 a cursive shining

 

 

 

writing's on the wall

in fact,

an entire essay

pages of one

the paint peels with laughter

at our folly

poetry is a young child

scrawling with crayon titters

 

am I that young still

in a morning

when I ask where from

it all came in a blink?

 

was I ever awake enough

to find conscience in my conscious

flesh out the color of my wall's overture

 

I knew you once, that child

but now my vision

is so blurred with experience

I cry

when that color is not

in the box 

and a conclusion

is in order

hoping I can be more

than just a summary

of myself.

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

11/30/24

Reviews

[redzone]

"I knew you once, that child".... When I read your poetry, Jacob, I don't need a box of crayons filled with all the colors there are to know that a child, who has gained conscience, still exists in the words you pen. And this can only be possible if it is still within you.

I think we all wonder about whether we matter in life. Have we made a difference?? Does our life have meaning? It is often ironic that the answer to these questions only come when we are gone and makes no difference to us, the one raising the questions.

As to those last few lines, can we be anything other than a "summary of myself"? In some ways, this is philosophy meets reality, where our conscience meets activity. And since our lives are short, finite, what we think and do matters a great deal. And that frankly, conscience takes all the colors(crayons) we know and create.

Love your poem Jacob!!
-Curt

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for your very kind review, Curt,
j.

[Marina]

The poem makes me think this is about looking back and reflecting on life and questioning whether one has lived their life in the creative realm they had hoped to exist in. As if writing poetry is the domain of the inner child and when one looks back on all they created they question whether they could have dug deeper within, perhaps wrote in different ways, tackled deeper meanings and thoughts and wrote more like grown ups are supposed to, in cursive style and not printed with crayon. It gives me a sense of ‘is that all I have got?’ from a lifetime of creativity. I may be wrong but that is how it reads to me. A sense of being unfulfilled and hoping that what the poet stands for can be outlined on more than just a one page essay.

This is a multilayered poem, Jacob, and one that had me looking for all those layers within your words. Deep and meaningful introspection. ❤️

[jacob erin-cilberto]

You are spot on...and to me there is never a right or wrong when interpreting poetry...
It is for each individual to read as he or she will....the main thing we hope for is for a reader
to get something from reading the work.
Thank you for your review, Marina,
j.