Willows and thoughts on a pillow

Willows and thoughts on a pillow

i'm metaphoring into the morning

shadows on the blinds

from candlelight

a gloaming of words

catastrophe of collusion

pen and paper

the night breezes cast

shadows from the weeping 

willow faces on my mind

a long time ago

they were wisps of youth

now they are uprooted ideas of forever

i loved, i admit it

my scrawl signifies with sighs

there is still heartbeat

in the ink blotches

looking back at me

like the eyes of those i lost

in wisps of wailing wind

still hearing my own cries

i find a branch of hope

to replant my faith

and hope it grows back.

erin-cilberto

12/4/24

Reviews

[lov]

uprooted ideas of forever...wow.
the way you write is celestial to me.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, lov,
j.

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

“a gloaming of words
catastrophe of collusion
pen and paper“
Once again the Metaphor Master teaches us how to emote, convey, compare, capture…to paint with words on paper the landscape of a life. Thank you J.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for your kind words, Annette, and that dog is just the cutest.
j.

[John the Baptist]

A lot of frustration apparent in this one, a sense of having lost something creatively. Don't despair. Tennyson was 80 when he wrote "Crossing the Bar" in 20 minutes.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I'll never be Tennyson...but I guess I can always shoot for the moon....and probably land on Pluto.
j.

[Joli Dy]

"Metaphoring into the morning" is a wonderful beginning... It's like a bridge tempting us across the water. Your wordplay is artfully restrained, not wordplay for the sake of cleverness; it served a purpose, delivering through a lens of nostalgia and regret - hope. Hope of restored faith. Exquisite.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for your very kind review, Joli,
j.

[Chris Shaw]

So many metaphors to unpick j. I see this poem as a hope for restoring your faith in your own ability in writing. You often do yourself down, sell yourself short needlessly. If the roots are strong, the tree hasn’t died , there is more opportunity for growth. There is healing.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for your kind words, Chris.
j.

[Cherrie]

The true power of poetry is the ability to tackle ideas and feelings from a peripheral point of view. Healing for pen and paper. 👌

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I appreciate your words, Cherrie.
j.

[Perdition]

My oh my, quite a worthy quest for the coming year, but tested over time and still you hold its root, as if hidden in that rooted tree inside our souls, and here, jumping word into willow I find you're looking to regain...something. May you find it all and more in spades and treasure the journey that we all seem to take for granted. Wonderfully put J. I suppose I'll probably pass you smiling and mumbling, much like me out on that bluff and trail. Perhaps we'll set our camp nearby and share a spot or two of memories we've gathered along our way. Happy Holidays Poet!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I do a lot of both these days, smiling and mumbling.
thank you, Perdition,
j.

[Perdition]

I doubt we'd be alive or allowed otherwise...lol. My pleasure j. ~

[redzone]

one could review this poem and say, "so many metaphors, so little time". LOL But when an all-nighter of metaphors occupies your mind, well, what is one to do but write them all down and proclaim, "I will ace this test". HA, once again we are fooled cause there as the sun rises, new and even more profound metaphors arrive at your desk and there it is, "a catastrophe of collusion between pen and paper"!!! Damn those willow faces making us remember love and loss (whether with someone or the ease of writing poems).

But then Jacob, can there be poetry without metaphor!! Or for that matter, love and loss??
-Curt

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Doesn't it seem that metaphors are tools for us as poets to help distance ourselves from writing the pain too close to the heart?

[redzone]

Yes. Maybe, but perhaps the metaphor is for confronting the pain up close and personal? As well as communicating the pain in a way that others can feel as well? The way that I look at metaphor is putting a face on it and that means confronting it "close to the heart". And then there is the use of metaphor as aesthetics.

[Patricia Wedel]

dear Jacob... Faith is a Bird singing in a Willow... soft as a Pillow that holds our Dreams. We weep and pray that Angels will Carry our Wishes for brighter days when our World will ne a Ship of Destiny... tenderly, Pat

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for your kind words, Pat,
j.

[Marina]

This speaks to me about loss of faith in what we create and write. To still be typing away as the candle casts its last shadows on the blinds is suggestive of a very long night of unproductive creation. The pen and paper are conspiring to upset the poet and not churning out the words as they are intended to be.

Perhaps the writing used to come easier in your days of youth and now in the twilight it takes more effort to come forth. There is a sadness here that I think we can all relate to. Sometimes the process just gets too damn hard and frustration and loss of faith occurs. By planting that branch of hope, you are giving yourself every chance of reclaiming that confidence you feel you may have lost. It’s a lovely poem. Tinged with sadness but infinitely relatable and understandable. ❤️

[jacob erin-cilberto]

You are very perceptive, Marina.
Thank you for your thoughts,
j.