Changes

Changes

 

 

 

I was a drummer

in a make-believe band

of Beat poets

but I lost rhythm

in the free-verse stream

of consciousness, while knocked out

on sweet metaphor

the sticks flew out of my hands

like empty pens

leaking lyrics

a drip at a time

a beat at a time

 

and then the song suddenly ceased

the band split up

and I found my solo career

merged in a constructed chorus

of less than sublime rhyme

 

that others loved to move

their iambic feet to.

 

 

erin-cilberto

11/19/24

Reviews

[redzone]

ah ha!! sweet metaphor will get you every time. Mike Pindar, Justin Wayward both poets who's poems were made into some of the great songs recorded by the Moody Blues (mentioned below in the comments, but also gleaned from your opening line). I think we all grow in our art. We start out writing in one style and then change to different styles. To be in a band (even as a beat poet) tends toward structure, the confines of a song (or poem, which many songs actually are). It's ironic I think, even 'free form' has structure, internal rhythm, and a beat. But the essence of free form is the need to be FREE, to express and make art that lasts forever!! "I'm just a wanderer on the face of this Earth"!!!! GOOOOOO JACOB< beat those drums!!!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Justin Hayward's voice...so soothing...Pindar's writing so deep...he was the Melancholy Man.
Thanks for your insight...yes, even free form has a beat to it...I cannot try to write within confines...but sometimes it naturally happens.
thank you, Curt.
j.

[Patricia Wedel]

dear Jacob.. thank you for introducing me to new venues ... Too many years were lost to religion and politics... Give me a Melancholy Man to places yet to know... softly, Pat

[Marie]

A very masterful write, dear J... You don't need to be in a band, you are a wonderful solo artist with a unique gift for rhythm, rhyme, visual detail and everything which goes to make a good poem GREAT! Lovely work, dear J... Thank you for sharing...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for your kind review, Marie,
j.

[Marie]

Most welcome always, dear J...

[andrew mitchell]

I thought the tone of the poem had me bop bop bopping the blues but the meaning of the poem was along the lines of I’m just a singer in a rock and roll band by the Moody blues. I know I’m just a wandering line but the beat does go on.Nice work J.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

The beat does go on....and I can listen to the Moodys for eternity....what a band!

[red93]

Yes definitely JEC - you are the Headline Act now. Really Excellent ✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Well, thank you, red...appreciate your kind comment.
j.

[Patricia Wedel]

dear Jacob... I love Jazz ... and the Beat of syncopated Drums... softly, Pat

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you so much, Pat,
j.

[Chris Shaw]

You’ve certainly found a solo career now. You don’t need to be one of a group, you are the master act. Love this one j.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you, Chris,
j.

[JustJulie]

I love poetry and I hope I can write in iambic pentameter one day. You are an expert.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for your words, Julie,
j.

[Desert Knave]

" ...leaking lyrics a drip at a time / a beat at a time ...". Kind of just flows as it is read. Nicely done. ~Jim

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you, Jim,
j.

[Sami Khalil]

Change for better conditions is good; change for worse is not good; that applies to art, health, politics, relationships.
You are gifted and sifted, tried and true poet.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Sami,
j.

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome sir.