that ship has sailed

that ship has sailed

 

 

goodbye to eloquent standing

my voice failed the moment

the audience sat starefully 

 

chewing their mints methodically

expecting strict verse

and getting just a few askew

words in a mutinous cacophony

 

the poems did not want to be read aloud

they were embarrassed by their own sound

no voice could assuage

 

the audience sat starefully

unable to digest

what they were hearing

 

then it was time for the snacks

laced with critique

and court marshals 

for the mutineers.

 

 

erin-cilberto

10/24/24 

Reviews

[mabel mae]

i can almost feel the expectant eyes of the listeners. it seems as though what you had to offer them for verse wasn't enough? but not everyone was born to understand, rather to float through life illiterate. -mabel

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Yes, poetry is not everyone's cup of tea, for sure.
thank you, mabel
j.

[Marie]

A finely inked write on the disconcerting feeling of standing before an audience to read one's poetry. Seeing them all sitting there waiting, staring is not a nice place to be, especially if one is new to speaking in front of others. You describe the scene superbly in very impressive visual detail, dear J... I feel the audience were not used to hearing wonderful poetry as yours was on the night and so they found your words difficult to swallow, as if they got stuck in the back of their throats and couldn't get them down any further. They couldn't critique later because they didn't understand to begin with! They were better left to the tea/coffee and biscuits to digest as I don't feel they had a poetic bone in their bodies! Wondrous write which I so enjoyed and thank you for sharing, dear J...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

How are the biscuits? I think I will stop reading and eat.
Thank you for your kind words, Marie,
j.

[Marie]

Great idea, J.. Most welcome always, my friend....

[camac1994]

Sure most have been there in the discomfort of that spotlight. Wow, you sure get to the details I never think to write. I have to pull an extra shift and I'm already late. This poetry has me wanting to say, "The heck with it!"
Better go! lol.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for the kind review, camac,
j.

[camac1994]

I thought about this poem all night. The way it would feel standing there in front of the audience, the gawkers I call them It's not their fault I am self conscious to a fault. I see them chewing their mints, looks of expectation on their confident faces. I could feel my whole body burning with embarrassment. I hate speaking before an audience. Wonderful work, Jacob

[jacob erin-cilberto]

And yet as it happens, you would finally get a few words out, gain confidence and ignore the audience. You would be so into the reading all those insecurities would go right out the window.

[camac1994]

Jacob, I wish the insecurities went out the window. No, I burn. Constantly. It's a fear of a crowd.
Cam

[John the Baptist]

New trends sometimes aren't given the warmest of welcomes. I wonder what Walt Whitman had to deal with.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I wonder that as well...
especially when the Leaves of Grass turned brown in late fall.

[Betty Hermelee]

this is not exactly like yours….but my Aunt, who wrote plays and poetry ions ago, wrote an off Broadway play that closed after one night….why! it was all about our extended dysfunctional family!
as for poetry, to read aloud without a snoring audience is very difficult….and often boring… you did well on this one J
loved it….
warmly
B🌷

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for your kind review and sharing the story of your Aunt's play...THEY just didn't get it, never should have closed in one night. Bummer.
j.

[Betty Hermelee]

i know but she wrote too many ugly things about the family!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Then, good that it closed in one night...

[Vol]

Jacob,
I LOVE a good reading! Of all the things I miss about civilization, they are top of the list. I did my first one in 1968 and dropped out in 2016... Try as I might, I cannot remember a single poem read at one I can remember, and I always paid attention... Oh, well there was that one by Jon Taylor, a baritone opus taken from a street corner argument between two drivers he over heard in Nashville.

"F**** YOU!
NO! F YOU"
F you MORE"

It was a rather long poem, and that's all I remember for sure... but you get the idea.
Vol

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Great argument, short and to the point.
j.

[Vol]

It was between two guys in cars at a stoplight.

[Soren]

It is all such a case by case issue. Some narrations make the poem others break it. But yes so few that hear acctually hear. So few that read acctually read. It seems that most take everything at face value but then I guess Melville felt the same way.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Ugh, Melville.
thanks for your review, my friend.
j.

[Tumi]

poetry read in the front of an audience, haha, the stuttering voice and short of words convey the feeling of anxiety, your poem was well narrated

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for your kind words, tumi,
j.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

You should warm them up with a song, pull them to the edge of their seats with a story and THEN, drop the poetry on them! (laughing) I always take my guitar as an extra security measure.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I admire you for being a guitar player...I tried a few times to learn and just didn't have it...I played drums once and did that pretty well, so I stopped at once...quit while I was ahead.
Funny you should say warm them up with a song...since 1995 my friend Eric Mandat, clarinetist, and I have done a duet. Poetry/ Blues combo...always fun and people seem to enjoy it.
j.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

Oh, I wouldn't admire my playing much. (laughing) But I'm like an old folkie picker...I play Neil Young, James Taylor, John Prine and some bluegrass. I once played a bit of mandolin...long time ago. I have three guitars and my wife thinks that's two too many. I've only bought one since we've been together. It's about time for another. (laughing)

[Desert Knave]

For some reason I am reminded of Ricky Nelson's "Garden Party". Really enjoyed this one. ~Jim

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Love Ricky Nelson and that song.
thanks, Jim,
j.