the disguise isn't working

the disguise isn't working

 

 

your composure

is of compost means

the silent anger

spreads across your face

Churning inside is the dying

you experienced years back

 

your manhood strangled by her words

the great will sooner or later fall

your collapse

grits its teeth

the microphone seared

a devil's breath

 

the clock strikes the hour

hell freezes over

and you with it.

 

 

erin-cilberto

9/14/24

Reviews

[quietingthechaos]

Really strong imagery in this. The ending with the clock striking is haunting and powerful. Nice work!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for your kind words, quieting,
j.

[Thomas W Case]

Powerful work. Vivid and sharp.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you, Thomas.
j.

[Patricia Wedel]

Wow!!! Holy Cow!! Yes, HELL freezes over under Cover… The sadness of the Chapel 🔔 Bells… will evermore be heard When the Raven quotes Nevermore … sadly, Pat

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your Poe-tic reply, dear Pat,
j.

[Desert Knave]

For some reason this really triggers the memory of how many years I let one woman's absolute lambasting of me determine how I looked at myself for many years. ~Jim

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Oh I saw this happen and like you, experienced it.
thanks, Jim
j.

[redzone]

your pen wields such power, Jacob. Not even a sword could destroy someone so thoroughly.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind comment, Curt.
j.

[emmajoygreen]

Your words, as ever, find a way of saying whatever the reader-reviewer wants to find, jacob. It's not how you use metaphors, how you place your creativity but - that you have the spirit to speak out with twenty six letters and make a feast from a miserable meal.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

very kind words, em,
thank you
j.

[Soren]

How much we place in what others say or think. This poem speaks to the importance given to the words and thoughts of another. Frozen in our progression stopped in our tracks. Lovely Jacob

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for your kind review, Soren,
j.