one afternoon

one afternoon

 

 

the pleasantries were never met

never indicated

the cold room

with frigid portraits

hung in stark detail

 

your love once employed

affection

the touch of magnetic attraction

and now the tea is a lukewarm gesture

and your eyes divert

 

i have spilled

the last sip of heart

i had left for you.

 

 

erin-cilberto

8/17/24

Reviews

[hayzed]

people get tired of what once used to be their desire. I believe it's human. Thanks for this as usual

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for the kind words, hayzed.
j.

[John the Baptist]

Well, old loves can over time lose their zing. Here, however, we have two people staring at each other across a demilitarized zone. The location is not specified, but the images reflect a loss of anything vital. I don't see this match catching fire again anytime soon.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I like that..."demilitarized zone"---
thanks, John,
j.

[Sami Khalil]

I hope they have thrift stores for used, second hand hearts; you can salvage some while others become antiques.
Sad poem with effective realities.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for your words, Sami,
j.

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome sir Jacob.

[Soren]

Entropy my friend energy dissipates things cool as do relationships as does my dinner meal. So nicely expressed in the poem that leaves me with the sensation of cooling becoming cold. Loved it I shiver.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for your kind review, Soren,
j.

[Cassie]

Jacob, your pen will never get old. This is good as always

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for your kind comment, Cassie,
j.

[nadia dmitri]

Wow I really like this. It reminds me of how cold and lonely an empty room that is usually filled can be. How isolating another's silence can be. Such vivid and sharp details are what I look forward to in your work. Amazing job :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I really appreciate your comments, nadia....means I am close to accomplishing what I set out to write...
j.

[schlanks]

I love how you always let the details speak for themselves. The diverted eyes, the blunt adjectives, the decisive end. You write with such clarity while maintaining the power of few words. It never fails to impress me.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, schlanks...
j.

[apennylate]

I am a fan of artful replacement, probably not what it is actually called, but it is what I am calling it.
When my mind automatically seeks the familiarity of "spilt tea", and you divert me to a "sip of heart"
My heart, lukewarm feelings, or is it the tea that lacks heat...
The exciting, the broken, the unmet kindness and frozen expressions that hang over hot phrases...
I forgot to remember how to love.
And perhaps that is all I had left

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for your words, apennylate.
j.

[MomzillaNC]

i have spilled
the last sip of heart
i had left for you.

Those are lines of pain, but also of closure.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you, Momz.
j.

[Chris Shaw]

Lukewarm tea and diverted eyes. The relationship has run its course. Nothing to salvage here. When it’s over it’s over. I saw the scenario unfolding. You conveyed this so well J.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Chris,
j.