I enjoyed reading your poem. It vividly portrays a moment of fleeting passion and its aftermath with raw and evocative imagery. The contrast between the physical intimacy and the underlying sense of emptiness is striking, reflecting the complexities of human connections. The metaphor of the belt holding things together briefly before the final closure adds a poignant touch to the narrative. Your poem captures the transient nature of such encounters with honesty and depth.
Posted 4 Months Ago
4 Months Ago
Thank you for your in=depth review, High Priestess.
j.
Oh boy, this one painted a passionate picture for me. Kissing in the elevator and barely making it into the apartment. One for old time's sake. It is never as we remembered it though, is it? As Barbra Streisand sang, "has time rewritten every line?" I think we remember only the good times, but the reality is quite different. Lydi**
Posted 4 Months Ago
4 Months Ago
Time does rewrite the lines, even if the poet won't.
I love how you always remember lines of .. read moreTime does rewrite the lines, even if the poet won't.
I love how you always remember lines of songs, Lydi.
j.
those are moments I wouldn't think would be memorable enough to even be shameful. of course it doesn't always pan out that way, shameless or forgotten, at least for some, I am not sure how I would feel about it if I was in that position so who am I to judge? but i like the writing of it. "icy breath" "midnight marauders" "scurry off together" "abbreviated door" .....love those
Posted 5 Months Ago
4 Months Ago
I appreciate you, Patricia...your comments make it worth writing the words.
j.
I have always felt that one night stands, or any sort of meaningless hookup takes a part of the person with them. I find that in this new modern free sex, loveless lifestyle we are breaking pur hearts by making a sacred act meaningless. Feelings get messy, there's shame, just an animal instinct. No humanity. No wonder those who engage in these acts feel the burden of doing a loving act in such animal urges
Posted 5 Months Ago
4 Months Ago
I absolutely agree with everything you say here...something has been hopelessly lost.
thank y.. read moreI absolutely agree with everything you say here...something has been hopelessly lost.
thank you, LazerRays,
j.
your words weave silky web that entangles the reader. vivid imagery in depicting desperation of loneliness, persuasive liquidity, carnal cravings, eventual exit that leaves the heart hungry for more.
your incredible dictation, and unique style, is testimony of what a great wordsmith you really are.
~ barrie
Posted 5 Months Ago
4 Months Ago
Thank you for those very kind words, ms. barrie,
j.
The measure in a shot glass is small; one swallow and it's gone. Same with passion, or love if you prefer the word; the loss of which may seem to be so slowly corrosive, but in reality, if we stop fooling ourselves, can simply disappear in an instant; though so often don't we almost always strive to have one more sip for the road.
It's one thing to have sex and enjoy it , and another thing to have sex just for the motions.... which often happens when we get bored with a partner or as we age.....sometimes passion and drink go together, but often wane at certain time of life" one last tango in the sheets" and it's adios...people have sex and are cold....no feeling at all...just the motions....nicely written as always J.
Warmly, B
Mysterious lovers and stories. I often wonder how it's possible to leave a person for good? Maybe because I'm from a different culture.
One of the many things that I appreciate about your poems, is that they are never fulfilled with ordinary words. I always check Meriam Webster's dictionary when I read your poems. You're a literature teacher and there's no wonder why your poems are so touching, while being short and a bit complicated.
Is there any good websites you can introduce to me for learning how to write standard English poems? I often write free verses.
P.S: It's been a long time since the last time I visited your page, jacob. I hope you're fine and life is treating you kindly. I appreciate our little chats through comments, during the past 2 years.
Wishing you the very best
Nima
Posted 5 Months Ago
5 Months Ago
Thank you, NIma....being a non-traditionalist I am unsure of websites that can teach you standard ==.. read moreThank you, NIma....being a non-traditionalist I am unsure of websites that can teach you standard ==English poems...maybe just google that and see what comes up....
LIfe is fine...foot surgery coming up...need it to get rid of a bone spur...will make tennis easier.
thanks for the kind words,
j.
Originally from Bronx, NY, I live in Carbondale, Illinois...teach English at a community college and have been writing and publishing poetry since 1970. I am here to read for inspiration from other po.. more..