night shift

night shift

 

rooms of tossing and turning

the sheets

spilled romance

into heartless passion

 

she stares at the ceiling

the clock

feels the sweat

pouring from his wallet

 

she picks up her purse

folds the green

as he lies spent

serene

 

for her another day passes

without connection

to what used to

feel.

 

 

erin-cilberto

5/8/24

Reviews

[AYVID]

This felt so transactional and yet it conveyed a sense of loss, a sadness. Perhaps, there were better days, when there was love but she's not allowed to feel love anymore. A very relatable and heartbreaking moment, my friend. Felt the pain.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for your kind review, Divya,
j.

[Chris Shaw]

Spilled romance
into heartless passion

she stares at the ceiling
the clock

Dear j, the lack of love on behalf of the she, really comes through in this poem. I can envisage the scene well, and the reference to the money going into her purse. A relationship failing, the romance has gone. For the he, it speaks to me of heartbreak.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Chris,
j.

[Chris Shaw]

Oh of course, the title says so much more. How sad.

[nadia dmitri]

Wow this is such an interesting poem. Immediately the line "spilled romance" jumped out at me. It paints a dissonant picture of messiness/accidents/failure with the positivity of romance. The chilling sadness of this scene is conveyed so well. I really like this and the formatting. Great work :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you kindly for your words, nadia,
j.