Arriving by 10pm

Arriving by 10pm

 

 

the day arrived

like a package

from Amazon

 

late, crushed

soaking wet

sitting on the front porch

 

like an orphaned child

abandoned

tossed into and from truck after truck

 

the "fragile, handle with care" label

ripped to shreds

along with the love inside

 

so mangled

it was unrecognizable

thrown into "returns"

 

with total disregard for damage

 

along with all the other hearts

not having assurance

of reciprocation

 

 

erin-cilberto

4/16/24

Reviews

[In Em's Wonderland]

A "Fragile, handle with care label" is important for packages as well as for when it comes to our many interactions with people around us...we can never assume we know what one may be going through in their life and it hurts when others tend to disregard our feelings. We must treat people with care, handle them carefully and have a grateful heart. It is always such a tragedy when something arrives to us in pieces or simply damaged...handle everything with care...this piece truly teaches an important lesson when it comes to humanity in general. I thoroughly enjoyed this!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for your very kind review, em.
j.

[Andrew John]

What a damaged day! Rather grips me, this one, J. Life can be a mess, like a soaked package. Thank you.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Andrew,
j.

[mou]

I was 'definitely' expecting something at the end but
'along with all the other hearts
not having assurance
of reciprocation'
J, 'metaphors' seem to have partiality towards your emotions!
- mou

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I don't know, mou...I cannot explain why I just always think in metaphor...maybe I am afraid of the real thing.
thank you,
j.

[mou]

I love poems that are enriched in metaphors. A real delight for poetry lovers

[Fabian G. Franklin]

This is fantastic! I could actually feel the weight of the soaked and damaged day in the words. Another wonderful write from a very talented poet. I enjoyed.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you, Fabian.
I feel stale and appreciate your encouraging words,
j.

[Amanda Reynolds]

very clever, I love this one, especially the line line "with total disregard for damage", all of it so true...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you, Amanda...
j.

[mabel mae]

great use of the term, “extended metaphor.” i like how you incorporated something so modern as Amazon. ha!
the theme of this is quite different than what you typically write. it’s good to see you branching out!
great job. -mabel

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you, mabel,
j.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I have branched out more than once in 54 years of writing poetry...I have little control over the themes that arise since I am just a conduit....I have little control over what comes and often feel I don't even write the poems...

But metaphor does come pretty naturally.
thanks again, mabel.
j.

[Poetic Beauty]

This is a great way for people to be able to visualize the broken hearts of the world. Fragile and disregarded in the delivery process

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you, P.B.
j.

[Chris Shaw]

Now this is what you call an extended metaphor j. That opening stanza is ace. The lines just got better and better. A genius way to poem unrequited love. Your muse handed you a gift here. You must surely be pleased with this one. I love it.

I sense you had fun writing this.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

did have fun....
thank you, Chris,
j.

[Chris Shaw]

I could see you laughing as you wrote it:)